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Posts Tagged ‘Health and safety’

Somali pirates blame ‘Health and Safety gone mad’ for downturn

Pirates operating off the coast of Somalia have blamed ‘overregulation’ and an over-zealous attitude to enforcement of Health and Safety rules for their recent lack of success.

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Posted: Jan 27th, 2012
More from World News



Troops withdrawn from Afghanistan after failing health and safety workplace assessment

‘If we’d known that soldiers weren’t being provided with the correct style of ergonomic chair or that the temperature in the workplace was so high, we’d have shut the place down in a jiffy.’

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Posted: Dec 10th, 2011
More from UK News



Health and Safety Nazis invade Poland

Tabloid columnists were up in arms today after battalions of overzealous health and safety officials – dubbed ‘Health and Safety Nazis’ – were seen marching across the Polish border wearing hard hats and high-visibility jackets, and armed to the teeth with clipboards and pens.

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Posted: Nov 5th, 2011
More from Health



Too many health warnings may be bad for you say experts

Healthier not to.Doctors have warned that an extended exposure to health warnings may be detrimental to your health and are calling for a ceiling on the number of medical scare stories to a maximum of 5 per week.

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Posted: Oct 20th, 2011
More from Health



James Bond resigns from MI5 citing ‘too much paperwork’

ready to killJames Bond, the secret agent formerly known as 007, has resigned from MI5, citing excessive paperwork, political correctness and boring villain’s lairs as making his life as a government assassin unbearable.

‘When I started out as a hired killer for the UK goverment, I was given a gun and allowed to take out anyone I liked. I fought the real super-villains, who built rocket launching sites inside volcanoes, supertankers that swallowed submarines, space stations and the like – most of them with monorails. On the way, I could have unprotected sex with any woman I fancied. But the assassination of Osama bin Laden shows how frustrating having a license to kill has become.’

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Posted: May 19th, 2011
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