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Posts Tagged ‘Health and safety’

Council ban on Good Life remains

Funeral directors have requested family flowers only, but well-wishers who happen to have any old cabbage leaves, unwanted teabags or potato peelings they’re desperate to get rid of, are requested to bring them along to the funeral.

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Posted: Feb 19th, 2013
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Anti ‘nanny state’ campaign founders as public asks ‘what’s a nanny?’

A major new campaign to roll back the so-called ‘nanny state’ has been pulled after only two weeks. The multi-million pound campaign ‘No to Nasty Nanny Oversight!’ (NNNO!) was pulled following extensive market research showing that the ‘proud British public’ had no idea who or what a ‘nanny’ was, or indeed why it was such a bad idea to have them running the country.

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Posted: Mar 15th, 2012
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Somali pirates blame ‘Health and Safety gone mad’ for downturn

Pirates operating off the coast of Somalia have blamed ‘overregulation’ and an over-zealous attitude to enforcement of Health and Safety rules for their recent lack of success.

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Posted: Jan 27th, 2012
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Troops withdrawn from Afghanistan after failing health and safety workplace assessment

‘If we’d known that soldiers weren’t being provided with the correct style of ergonomic chair or that the temperature in the workplace was so high, we’d have shut the place down in a jiffy.’

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Posted: Dec 10th, 2011
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Health and Safety Nazis invade Poland

Tabloid columnists were up in arms today after battalions of overzealous health and safety officials – dubbed ‘Health and Safety Nazis’ – were seen marching across the Polish border wearing hard hats and high-visibility jackets, and armed to the teeth with clipboards and pens.

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Posted: Nov 5th, 2011
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