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London’s new airport will be underground, promises Boris Johnson
A high-speed tunnel leading to the runway will start at Dover, marked by a giant bullseye on the white cliffs. [read...]
Tagged Heathrow
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UK Border Agency asks illegal immigrants ‘not to wear sports kit’ during Olympics
The UK Border Agency (UKBA) has given assurances that it is ‘completely ready’ to deal with the influx of foreigners during the Olympics, as long as illegal immigrants agree not to wear sports kit over the summer. [read...]
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Suitcase with pink ribbon tied to handle goes missing
But Professor of Logic at Oxford University, James Searle, said the theory required that the black suitcase belonging to the passenger who had taken Mrs Moran’s black suitcase in error should have remained on the carousal. [read...]
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BAA investment in adverse weather equipment spent on extra wide shovel
An inquiry into the apparent ‘slow reaction’ of Heathrow Airport to last month’s snow revealed that BAA’s ‘major investment in counter snow technology’ was nothing more than the ordering of an extra wide shovel for the worker who clears the snow from the runways. [read...]
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Bright light coming from the East was plane arriving at Heathrow
‘It was a wonderful sight to behold,’ said a passenger today. ‘We never lost faith and finally our prayers have been answered.’ [read...]