UK premier Gordon Brown was also moved by the occasion ‘When you think of the impact of the global financial crisis, the terrible local and European election results and the MPs expenses scandals, HP has alleviated all these problems by releasing the BIOS revision at this time, and by changing the default boot device to hard disk has removed the worrying wait whilst the machines first tried to boot from CD. It is truly a miracle. I will not be resigning.’

However the news of the BIOS revision was not met with universal approval. A spokesman from technology analysts Gartner warned the public of embracing the latest revision without ‘Proper testing and deployment planning, after all a failed attempt to flash a BIOS could result in you needing to install it again from the CD that came with the motherboard’ warned senior vice president Chelsey Palino ‘That could bring delays to your Googling and gaming activities.’

In the UK there was mixed reaction to the news about the BIOS revision. Former ministers Hazel Blears and Jacqui Smith warned against the upgrade citing that ‘A BIOS revision is not enough. We need a full scale change of BIOS on a brand new microprocessor’ whilst David Cameron went further demanding ‘A compete change of motherboard following a full-scale procurement exercise which allows the British people to select a completely new BIOS.’

Nick Clegg from the Liberal Democrats advocated an approach which ‘Gives people the right to choose their BIOS based on the needs of the nation overall, and to not be required to use an HP or Dell BIOS just becuase they were first past the post.’

BNP leader Nick Griffin warned of the danger of relying on an imported foreign BIOS when the UK has a solid track record through companies such as Sinclair, BBC Micro and Amstrad of delievring ‘World class BIOS chips which have been developed and produced in the UK. That’s why we are the world leaders in such components.’

‘We’ve been together for just over a year now, but even from the earliest moment I knew I’d finally found complete happiness. I just didn’t want to be with anyone or anything else for the rest of my life,’ said Wibburn. ‘She entertains me, she keeps me well-informed, we listen to our favourite music together,’ he added, ‘and as for the sex, well it’s constant. I could never turn on a woman as easily as I turn on my computer.’ Mr Wibburn says their only argument was when he became jealous of a technician tweaking one of her USB ports but the couple have apparently put that behind them and are hoping to have a little laptop together.

Wibburn’s friends suspected that Steve must be in love, when they realised that they were seeing less and less of him. He had given up tennis club, his evening classes, and his trips to the local library, so they knew something special must have come into his life. He claims he still ventures out of his room for trips to PC World to buy little trinkets and add-on’s for his new partner and it’s always with a look of joy that he hands his purchases to the cashier and says, “She’s just going to love this.”

Steve’s friends did point out that one day, like all computers, Mr Wibburn’s Pavilion may become a bit erratic and slow down and start losing things. However Steve is adamant that that he won’t let that come between them. ‘Well that’s going to happen to me too, so hopefully we can grow old together with lots of happy memories,’ said Steve glancing at a brand new Sony Vaio that was a guest at the reception.

Team Biscuit