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Posts Tagged ‘higgs boson’

Particle physics ‘all made up’ admit boffins

what scientists know 'just incredible'‘I mean, the names! You fell for all of them: quark and muon came from a drunken game of scrabble’.

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Posted: Aug 4th, 2014
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Man who has never even heard of Higgs Boson seems to be doing OK

A Cheltenham butcher who has never heard of Higgs Boson is getting on with his life just fine say his friends.

‘Gordon has never heard of it,’ said Luke Church, a friend, ‘but he just goes on living all the same.’

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Posted: Oct 12th, 2013
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Scientists hail first sighting of elusive bankers’ morals

physicists allowing themselves an extra scotch egg for lunch, as a bonus‘We knew one banker, somewhere, must have had a pang of guilt at least once,’ declared an exhausted and delighted spokesman.

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Posted: Jul 4th, 2012
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Faster-than-light Nissan Micra ‘may have been down to timing fault’

they've got some canny ideas aboot Einsteinian Relativistic fizix‘We were a bit surprised to find we’d topped six hundred million miles an hour, especially as the speedo only goes up to one hundred and twenty, but we put it down to the new go-faster stripes I’d got fitted that morning.’

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Posted: Feb 23rd, 2012
More from Science/Technology



Large Hadron Collider finds car keys

also found the lyrics to 'things can only get better' although they were put straight in the binIt cost some £6.2 billion to build, but the Large Hadron Collider may have justified that enormous price tag after it finally located Professor Brian Cox’s lost car keys. The keys were lost by Cox in the 1990s while an undergraduate at the University of Manchester and his 1987 Nissan Micra has remained in an NCP car park ever since.

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Posted: Dec 12th, 2011
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