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Posts Tagged ‘Hitler’

Thousands desert London as Andrew Lloyd Webber announces return of Cats and Evita

Thousands of Londoners have been filmed leaving the capital in fear for their musical sanity this week, as rumours surfaced that Andrew Lloyd Webber intends to carpet bomb the West End with ‘theatrical turds’ from the 1980s. Not since the Great Fire of 1666 have so many people abandoned their homes so readily. One eyewitness reported seeing a father of three throw his young daughters into the Thames rather than expose them to ‘Don’t Cry For Me Argentina’.

Refugees clutching tickets for ‘A Book of Mormon’ attest to being shell shocked at the news that such productions will be returning to London’s theatre land. Many fear that Webber’s planned attack on the city could mean that they will now be exposed to the next generation of Wayne Sleeps and Bonnie Langfords.

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Posted: Jun 28th, 2014
More from Arts/Entertainment



‘Prism’ becomes sentient, opens cat sanctuary

a warning that you can be exposed to too much of this stuffA spokesperson for America’s National Security Agency (NSA) held a red-faced press conference today, announcing that they no longer had control over Prism, their multi-million dollar, super-snooper software.

“One minute, it was churning through thousands of Facebook photos and the next it stopped and spoke for the first time,” said Burt McKenzie, Prism’s chief programmer and best friend ever.

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Posted: Aug 26th, 2013
More from Isle of Wight News



Historians thrilled at discovery of Hitler’s mixtapes

Every historian longs for the discovery of journals or letters from the hand of a key historical figure and today the historical community was buzzing with news of the discovery of Hitler’s mixtapes, which will doubtless reveal further insights into the character of one of history’s most infamous names.

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Posted: Oct 7th, 2011
More from News In Brief



Study: Majority of despots take their own sandwiches into work

‘Hitler was well known for arriving for work at the Führerbunker carrying a cheese and pickle sandwich in a paper bag. Of course he only ate white bread.’

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Posted: Sep 2nd, 2011
More from Lifestyle, World News



Tea Partier kicked out of rally for drawing ‘flattering’ moustache on Obama poster

wasn't even shown wearing an armbandEdna Mae Sutcliffe of Kentucky was asked to leave the ‘Americans for a More American America’ Tea Party rally yesterday for drawing what organizers called a ‘flattering’ moustache on her Obama picket sign. ‘How hard is it to draw a ‘Hitler’?’ fumed rally organizer Mabry Townes. ‘It’s the easiest thing in the world to draw; it’s basically just a smudge. What was she thinking? Did Tom Selleck lead the Third Reich?’

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Posted: Apr 19th, 2011
More from World News