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Posts Tagged ‘Hollywood’

Darth Vader seeks revenge by ‘living well’

Lord of the Sith Darth Vader has warned his sworn enemies that he will be unleashing revenge in its most ruthless form, simply by living well. The Dark Emperor threatened a low carb gluten free diet, regular exercise, and a vengeful appetite for Alpen Swiss Style Muesli.

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Posted: Dec 22nd, 2014
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Sony to fire film reels into North Korea in retaliation

Sony has vowed to retaliate against the ‘unwarranted hacking’ of its computer system by North Korea by moving a battery of film reel launchers up to the 38th parallel. ‘If they think The Candidate was disrespectful, wait until we lob copies of Bad Haircut, one of Ryan Sommers Baum’s best roles,’ a spokesman said.

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Posted: Dec 19th, 2014
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Gwyneth Paltrow sent to Afghanistan for using inappropriate analogy

GwynethAfter the latest ruling under the new crowd-sourced sentencing system, Gwyneth Paltrow faces six months’ front line service in Afghanistan’s Helmand province for carelessly using an analogy that used war to describe the feeling of dehumanisation after receiving insults online.

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Posted: Jun 2nd, 2014
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Struggling young actors turning to football for route to Hollywood

hopefuls will later be looking for West End work on a BosmanFollowing the silver screen success of former footballers Vinnie Jones, Eric Cantona and David Ginola, young actors are now choosing Football Association approved academies attached to English professional football clubs as a novel new route to television and movie stardom.

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Posted: Jul 24th, 2013
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Pretty Woman devotee admits massive disillusionment with Rochdale prostitution scene

will do a full 'Julia Roberts' for a fiverAn ardent fan of the 1980’s movie Pretty Woman has today admitted that her life as a ‘sex worker’ has so far failed to live up to its on-screen portrayal.

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Posted: Dec 4th, 2012
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