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Posts Tagged ‘Home Office’

European Court rules God cannot cast Lucifer out of Heaven

The omnipresent supreme being, God, has expressed his disappointment after the European Court refused to overturn a ruling preventing him from casting out the senior radical anticleric Lucifer, commonly known as Satan, from Heaven.

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Posted: Apr 26th, 2013
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Theresa May ‘even tried Cillit Bang’ to remove Abu Qatada

After an appeal to the courts delayed extradition proceedings, Home Secretary Theresa May has defended the government’s attempts to remove stubborn extremist Abu Qatada using kitchen power-cleaner Cillit Bang.

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Posted: Apr 20th, 2012
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Home Secretary backs US extradition demand for KFC napkin thief

stopped before he could hack into secret recipe of eleven different herbs and spices“It is alleged the gang would order a KFC meal, usually a Bargain Bucket with an extra side of fries or a Tango orange and then wait until the waitress had turned her back before stuffing their pockets full of napkins and then making their escape on foot through the front door.”

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Posted: Apr 11th, 2012
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Protests as police force forced to police police protest

Police have begun policing protests by police protesters against police force cuts forced on the force by the Home Office.

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Posted: Mar 7th, 2011
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ASBOs to be replaced by town square naughty steps

"all about mutual respect 'n' shit" confirms Home SecretaryAntisocial Behaviour Orders are to be replaced by more progressive discipline strategies such as stopping pocket money, confiscating favourite toys and banishing yobs to the naughty step.

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Posted: Feb 7th, 2011
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