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Posts Tagged ‘Home Office’

ASBOs to be replaced by town square naughty steps

"all about mutual respect 'n' shit" confirms Home SecretaryAntisocial Behaviour Orders are to be replaced by more progressive discipline strategies such as stopping pocket money, confiscating favourite toys and banishing yobs to the naughty step.

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Posted: Feb 7th, 2011
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Nation’s builders ‘outraged’ as Greggs pasties reclassified as Class A drugs

one day son, one of those things is gonna kill youThe Federation of Master Builders has criticised the reclassification of Greggs pasties as class A drugs, ranking them alongside heroin and crack cocaine.

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Posted: Nov 1st, 2010
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Shock survey results: Britons all stereotypes

Latest Home Office figures suggest that Britain is populated entirely by stereotypes. ‘Everyone has managed to tick some boxes,’ said a spokesman, ‘even the illiterate – though they tended to put a badly-scrawled cross.’

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Posted: Apr 26th, 2010
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Amy Winehouse to be reclassified as Class B Celebrity

‘We reserve Class A status for celebrities who have a serious impact on people’s lives.’

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Posted: Feb 22nd, 2010
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Home Office ‘stolen’

‘The Home Office had been left unattended while the government were announcing major reforms. When the Home Secretary returned to his office after the press announcement, he found it had been pinched.’

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Posted: Mar 30th, 2007
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