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Posts Tagged ‘Home Secretary’

ASBOs to be replaced by town square naughty steps

"all about mutual respect 'n' shit" confirms Home SecretaryAntisocial Behaviour Orders are to be replaced by more progressive discipline strategies such as stopping pocket money, confiscating favourite toys and banishing yobs to the naughty step.

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Posted: Feb 7th, 2011
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Prisoners promise not to run off after voting

Fears that prisoners in the UK will simply run off after posting their voting slip in the ballot box have forced the Government to re-think proposals to give inmates the vote. ‘We have concerns that some prisoners may not be entirely trustworthy,’ said Justice Secretary Kenneth Clarke.

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Posted: Jan 22nd, 2011
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Nation’s builders ‘outraged’ as Greggs pasties reclassified as Class A drugs

one day son, one of those things is gonna kill youThe Federation of Master Builders has criticised the reclassification of Greggs pasties as class A drugs, ranking them alongside heroin and crack cocaine.

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Posted: Nov 1st, 2010
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Police launch grannies decoy plan to cut crime

‘You should’ve seen the look on his face when I straightened up and smacked him round the head with my handbag.’

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Posted: Oct 25th, 2010
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Christmas in jeopardy after Santa refuses CRB check

Santa Clause‘We rather feel that if a childless man is to be granted nocturnal access to the bedrooms of millions of children around the world, he should submit to some basic investigation.’

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Posted: Dec 4th, 2009
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