NewsBiscuit

The news before it happens…

Posts Tagged ‘Home Secretary’

UK poor people must do more to help kill foreign poor people, says Defence Secretary

Defence Secretary Philip Hammond says that poor people in Britain should do more to help to kill poor people in other countries by taking a cut in their welfare benefits to allow much-needed funds for the armed forces.

Read more >

Posted: Mar 4th, 2013
More from News In Brief



Home Secretary admits illegal chips may infiltrate Olympics

‘It’s a nightmare scenario really,’ said Theresa May. ‘We’re potentially looking at multiple chip-related security breaches. We’ve already intercepted one man of Middle-Eastern appearance trying to smuggle in a one-kilo bag of McCain Low Fat Oven Fries, so who knows what else is out there.’

Read more >

Posted: Jul 13th, 2012
More from Sport



Suicide bid for Olympics

‘No bugger helped me to top myself,’ she said. ‘They just kept putting the boot in by lengthening the season.’

Read more >

Posted: Mar 23rd, 2012
More from News In Brief



ASBOs to be replaced by town square naughty steps

"all about mutual respect 'n' shit" confirms Home SecretaryAntisocial Behaviour Orders are to be replaced by more progressive discipline strategies such as stopping pocket money, confiscating favourite toys and banishing yobs to the naughty step.

Read more >

Posted: Feb 7th, 2011
More from UK News



Prisoners promise not to run off after voting

Fears that prisoners in the UK will simply run off after posting their voting slip in the ballot box have forced the Government to re-think proposals to give inmates the vote. ‘We have concerns that some prisoners may not be entirely trustworthy,’ said Justice Secretary Kenneth Clarke.

Read more >

Posted: Jan 22nd, 2011
More from News In Brief