Defence Secretary Philip Hammond says that poor people in Britain should do more to help to kill poor people in other countries by taking a cut in their welfare benefits to allow much-needed funds for the armed forces.
Posted: Mar 4th, 2013
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‘It’s a nightmare scenario really,’ said Theresa May. ‘We’re potentially looking at multiple chip-related security breaches. We’ve already intercepted one man of Middle-Eastern appearance trying to smuggle in a one-kilo bag of McCain Low Fat Oven Fries, so who knows what else is out there.’
Posted: Jul 13th, 2012
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‘No bugger helped me to top myself,’ she said. ‘They just kept putting the boot in by lengthening the season.’
Posted: Mar 23rd, 2012
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Antisocial Behaviour Orders are to be replaced by more progressive discipline strategies such as stopping pocket money, confiscating favourite toys and banishing yobs to the naughty step.
Posted: Feb 7th, 2011
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Fears that prisoners in the UK will simply run off after posting their voting slip in the ballot box have forced the Government to re-think proposals to give inmates the vote. ‘We have concerns that some prisoners may not be entirely trustworthy,’ said Justice Secretary Kenneth Clarke.
Posted: Jan 22nd, 2011
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