NewsBiscuit

The news written by you…

Posts Tagged ‘Home Secretary’

Prisoners promise not to run off after voting

Fears that prisoners in the UK will simply run off after posting their voting slip in the ballot box have forced the Government to re-think proposals to give inmates the vote. ‘We have concerns that some prisoners may not be entirely trustworthy,’ said Justice Secretary Kenneth Clarke.

Read more >

Posted: Jan 22nd, 2011
More from News In Brief



Nation’s builders ‘outraged’ as Greggs pasties reclassified as Class A drugs

one day son, one of those things is gonna kill youThe Federation of Master Builders has criticised the reclassification of Greggs pasties as class A drugs, ranking them alongside heroin and crack cocaine.

Read more >

Posted: Nov 1st, 2010
More from UK News



Police launch grannies decoy plan to cut crime

‘You should’ve seen the look on his face when I straightened up and smacked him round the head with my handbag.’

Read more >

Posted: Oct 25th, 2010
More from News In Brief



Christmas in jeopardy after Santa refuses CRB check

Santa Clause‘We rather feel that if a childless man is to be granted nocturnal access to the bedrooms of millions of children around the world, he should submit to some basic investigation.’

Read more >

Posted: Dec 4th, 2009
More from UK News



Crying girl from Britain’s Got Talent to be new Home Secretary

minimal political experience, but worth giving her a chanceHollie Steel who won the nation’s heart singing Edelweiss on Britain’s Got Talent is to be appointed as the new Home Secretary in a desperate bid to stop everybody attacking the government. The plucky ten year old who broke down in tears after losing her way half way through the Sound of Music classic is believed to have minimal political experience, but in the current climate, the Prime Minister has judged that this may be to his government’s advantage.

David Cameron at first seemed unsure how to react to the surprise appointment, eventually praising it by ad-libbing that ‘this little girl has got nerves of steel, and, erm, her name is Hollie Steel.’ Another MP said that they hoped the appointment of a ten year old might go some way to ending late night sittings in the House of Commons as the new Home Secretary was normally in bed by eight.

Read more >

Posted: Jun 3rd, 2009
More from Politics