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Posts Tagged ‘homosexuality’

Gay marriage; Shellfish next abomination to be legalised

After the successful legalisation of gay marriage, which hasn’t resulted in any smiting, earthquakes or unusual cosmological signs, the Government is considering legalising the consumption of shellfish.

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Posted: Apr 10th, 2014
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‘Fruity wizards’ told to avoid Russia

The UK Foreign Office has advised all members of the Fellowship of the Ring not to travel to Russia, where new laws based on the belief that sexual orientation is determined by early exposure to fantasy novels, it is feared, may soon extend to ‘fruity wizards’, ‘effete elves’ and ‘dwarves in sailor suits’.

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Posted: Dec 13th, 2013
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Pope invites Gok Wan to Vatican to ‘camp-up’ the clergy

Pope building up to appearing naked in front of pilgrims by All Saints DayAfter surprising the world with his relaxed views on homosexuality, Pope Francis has stepped-up his attempts to modernise the Catholic Church by enlisting the services of style guru Gok Wan in a bid to ‘makeover’ the Church’s hierarchy.

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Posted: Jul 30th, 2013
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US election mainly about bum sex

they don't like it up 'emAs the US presidential election campaign enters its last days, pollsters say the result is still on a knife-edge. Whilst flag worship remains an issue for some, the electorate is split almost evenly over the crucial question or whether or not the right of people with the same number of penises or vaginas as each other to make their relationship official is any of their fucking business.

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Posted: Nov 4th, 2012
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Man finally admits unconditional love for his mechanic

Returning to the family home last Thursday after collecting his car from a routine service, James Hepworth, a 43-year-old married man from Lincoln, finally confessed to his wife what he described as the ‘last remaining love that dare not speak its name’ – the unconditional and all-consuming adoration he felt for Dave Shepherd, his auto-mechanic at Cecil Lane Motors.

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Posted: Nov 3rd, 2012
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