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Posts Tagged ‘hoodies’

Mawkish floral tribute industry slams government’s plans to reduce violent crime

florists 'might struggle to survive' without senseless killingsThe Government has been forced to defend its new crime strategy after a barrage of criticism from the mawkish floral tribute industry.

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Posted: Jun 8th, 2015
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Gok Wan slams London rioters’ for their dress sense

Fashion guru Gok Wan was particularly critical of the poor adherence to 70’s chic, ‘Being on the world’s TV screens is a great opportunity for British fashion, so I’m particularly disappointed that people have failed to make an effort. We were expecting flowing denims, long hair and bohemian looks; resorting to a 1973-style Provo IRA balaclava really doesn’t cut it.’

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Posted: Aug 9th, 2011
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ASBOs to be replaced by town square naughty steps

"all about mutual respect 'n' shit" confirms Home SecretaryAntisocial Behaviour Orders are to be replaced by more progressive discipline strategies such as stopping pocket money, confiscating favourite toys and banishing yobs to the naughty step.

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Posted: Feb 7th, 2011
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Gang initiation tests ‘getting easier’ claim critics

‘All candidates need to do is glare menacingly at a pensioner whilst wearing a hoodie.’

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Posted: Aug 21st, 2010
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Angry residents launch ‘Keep Dagenham Shite’ campaign

Car manufacturing helped many leave Frustrated with the continual attempts to improve their town, the people of Dagenham today launched a campaign to ensure their place of residence remains ‘a stinking crap hole’.

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Posted: Sep 7th, 2009
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