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Posts Tagged ‘House of Commons’

Cameron ‘definitely going to do something about Europe’

David Cameron has announced that if the EU doesn’t listen to him, he may get very angry and may probably, if he feels like it, pull of out of Europe. However, he will first have to ask the party, then have a referendum, but only if the Commons votes for one, though only if the Cabinet wants a Commons vote on whether there should be a referendum and only if he wants the Cabinet to request a Commons vote

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Posted: Nov 9th, 2015
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Child abuse evidence is prone to combustion

Investigating officers have discovered a direct link between accusations of historical abuse and the occurrence of witness testimony magically disappearing into a puff of smoke. This comes in the week that the very same Abuse Inquiry ‘accidentally’ deleted a month’s worth of statements, while simultaneously transforming incriminating photos into ‘a bunch of flowers’.

A spokesman for the Metropolitan police said: ‘There is nothing suspicious in the fact that countless witnesses, their evidence and crime scenes have been burnt to a cinder…

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Posted: Oct 24th, 2015
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MPs’ parents ‘dreading the summer holidays’

October 'can't come too soon'‘It’s absurd that they get so long off,’ said Alan Duncan’s father.

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Posted: Jul 24th, 2015
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Nonces ‘appalled’ by allegations that some might be MPs

‘I haven’t been able to sleep since these allegations started. What will my family think of me? I can’t leave my own home – kids have painted ‘MP scum’ on my front door.

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Posted: Jul 21st, 2014
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Universal Credit to be exported to Mars

Ian Duncan Smith has unveiled plans to make the benefits system truly ‘universal’ by exporting it to Mars. The Department of Work and Pensions has been in secret talks with Imperial College London and NASA to launch a spacecraft, to be called the Debacle, next summer

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Posted: Dec 11th, 2013
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