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Posts Tagged ‘House of Commons’

Nonces ‘appalled’ by allegations that some might be MPs

‘I haven’t been able to sleep since these allegations started. What will my family think of me? I can’t leave my own home – kids have painted ‘MP scum’ on my front door.

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Posted: Jul 21st, 2014
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Universal Credit to be exported to Mars

Ian Duncan Smith has unveiled plans to make the benefits system truly ‘universal’ by exporting it to Mars. The Department of Work and Pensions has been in secret talks with Imperial College London and NASA to launch a spacecraft, to be called the Debacle, next summer

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Posted: Dec 11th, 2013
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Parliamentary debates to get Hawkeye

New technology based on the Hawkeye system is being introduced to the House of Commons which will show instantly whether or not insults thrown during debates have hit the target. Observers believe it could have a significant effect on the outcome of parliamentary votes.

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Posted: Jul 15th, 2013
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An Idiot’s Guide to… The House of Lords

The seats in the House of Lords are red because if peers were to wake up to an all-white décor they may fear they had died.

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Posted: Jul 11th, 2012
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US politicians to offer ‘effective corruption training’ to UK MPs

A delegation of US and Italian politicians have launched a high-profile conference in London to teach British politicians how to stop fannying about claiming Commons expenses for gardening costs, and switch to proper corruption like dumping your ex-lover’s body in the local river and then having the judge trying you shot by a hitman.

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Posted: Jun 11th, 2012
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