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Posts Tagged ‘Iain Duncan Smith’

Benefit claimants pleased at prospect of zero-hour contracts

In what appears to be the perfect deal for those either unable or reluctant to work, the government plans to push claimants off benefits and into jobs they will not have to do. The rationale being that if people only have to work zero hours, they will have plenty of time to make money elsewhere.

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Posted: May 7th, 2014
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Fit-For-Work tests to be conducted by killer robot

you have 10 seconds to comply with this orderFollowing the departure of Atos, the Department for Work and Pensions has awarded the contract for conducting Work Capability Assessments to ‘Benefits Enforcement Droid’ model IDS-209.

The droid, manufactured by Omni Consumer Products, was originally intended for law enforcement and is armed with three auto cannons, one auto shotgun and a rocket launcher.

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Posted: Apr 30th, 2014
More from Politics, UK News



Iain Duncan Smith to simplify all his cock-ups into one Universal Cock-Up

'unfit for purpose' now made more efficiently 'unfit for purpose'‘The current system of cock-ups is complicated and confusing,’ said the Work and Pensions Secretary. ‘Even I have trouble keeping track of them all.’

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Posted: Mar 24th, 2014
More from Politics



Government now fears ‘extraterrestrial benefit spongers’

Aliens could claim child tax credits for children living outside the orbit of Pluto‘They’ll probably be concealing illegal migrants from somewhere or other in the solar system just here to scrounge or take our British jobs’

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Posted: Mar 7th, 2014
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‘Stop taking photos of our food’ plead French chefs

A group of French chefs have criticised diners for taking photos of their food….24 hours after eating it.

Chef Aleandre Goutier complained that diners at his restaurant in Paris were taking snap-shots of last night’s food just moments after defecating.

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Posted: Feb 25th, 2014
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