Iain Duncan Smith is reported to be livid today, after news has emerged that due to teething problems with the roll out of new Cabinet Office computer software, the knighthood conferred upon him in the New Year Honours list will take at least six weeks or very possibly even longer to process. [read...]
Following the success of the 2016 EU Referendum and the 2019 General Election, both of which removed many unnecessary rights and protections, leading Tory Duncan Shit has proposed to bring back full slavery via a new Referendum. [read...]
A bitter row has broken out concerning thirty six year-old Will Protheroe from Wimborne, who has been declared fit for work by the DWP despite having been in a vegetative state for six years. Three months ago he received a letter asking that he present himself at the local assessment centre for a medical examination…. [read...]
As the 1922 Committee announced that Johnson had won the Conservative leadership concert, the delight and bliss experienced by hard Brexiteers that one of their own had finally secured the Premiership was so extreme that all true believers waiting to hear the results in Queen Elizabeth Hall immediately began to vibrate in a haze of light and ascend into heaven in individual beams of light, [read...]
European standards regulating the softness of toilet paper may mean Brexiteers wiping their bottoms on their own disused leaflets until new UK regulations can be put in place, if a hard Brexit goes through. In a complex calculation, [read...]
