The Chancellor today admitted to what is now looking like ‘an horrendous Christmas overspend’. Threatening to cut the welfare budget after the next election, Mr. Osborne confessed that he may have been profligate with the Babycham for Theresa May, discount hotel vouchers for William Hague and the Blackadder boxset for Michael Gove.
Posted: Jan 7th, 2014
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Work and Pensions Secretary Ian Duncan Smith has defended his decision to walk out of a Commons debate on Food Banks explaining he had received a text message from the Commons canteen to say his truffles were ready.
Posted: Dec 19th, 2013
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In an initiative to make its strict new rules for immigrants to the UK more palatable to the British public, the Department for Work and Pensions are to introduce a TV quiz show into the popular teatime slot.
‘Dole Or No Dole’ will be compered by DWP Secretary Iain Duncan Smith as inquisitor ‘The Quiet Man’, and features 100 immigrant applicants being whittled down to one successful candidate every episode.
Posted: Dec 16th, 2013
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‘The benefits system should be about incentivising people,’ said the Work and Pensions Secretary, ‘and by placing benefits on the tops of mountains we are encouraging the unemployed to get off their backsides and make a bit more of an effort.’
Under the new system all benefit payments will be hidden somewhere on the top of a high peak. ‘It could be on Mount Snowdon; it could be Scafell Pike,’ explained Mr Duncan Smith. ‘That’s the fun of the system. And just to keep people on their toes, sometimes there won’t be any benefit at all.’
Posted: Nov 28th, 2013
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The recent generosity of the British people in reaction to the horrendous devastation left by Typhoon Haiyan has led the Department for Work and Pensions to investigate the possible emergence of a Philippines ‘benefit culture’.
Posted: Nov 19th, 2013
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