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Posts Tagged ‘Iain Duncan Smith’

Iain Duncan Smith raises retirement age for Olympic cyclists

plenty of mileage left in those magnificent thighsFollowing an attempt yesterday by six-time Olympic gold medallist Sir Chris Hoy to retire from professional cycling, the Work and Pensions secretary Iain Duncan Smith has immediately legislated to require all members of team GB to continue professional competition ‘until at least 75 years of age, preferably longer’.

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Posted: Apr 18th, 2013
More from Sport



Government now fears ‘extraterrestrial benefit spongers’

Aliens could claim child tax credits for children living outside the orbit of Pluto‘They’ll probably be concealing illegal migrants from somewhere or other in the solar system just here to scrounge or take our British jobs’

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Posted: Mar 9th, 2013
More from Politics



Iain Duncan Smith slams ‘gravity cheats’

The government believes that too many people have come to rely on the state for support, resulting in a soaring bill for walking sticks and crutches.

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Posted: Feb 24th, 2013
More from News In Brief



Royal Institute of Shelf-stackers welcomes IDS backing

‘Some smart people think that geology is more important than stacking supermarket shelves,’ said Sir Rufus Smith, president of the RISS, ‘so it’s good news to hear Mr Duncan Smith defending our noble discipline.’

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Posted: Feb 18th, 2013
More from News In Brief



Traces of meat found in poor people’s diets, admits Iain Duncan Smith

Minute traces of meat have been found in some meals consumed by poor people, according to the Department of Work and Pensions secretary Iain Duncan Smith.

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Posted: Feb 1st, 2013
More from News In Brief