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Posts Tagged ‘illness’

NHS 111 service to be restricted to well people

‘Ill people have the unfortunate effect of clogging up the health system, and they can really bring down the people in the call centre with their constant winging,’ said a Government spokesman.

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Posted: Jul 30th, 2013
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Britain’s oldest hypochondriac dies aged 98

Friends say he had been feeling unwell for about 80 years or so.

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Posted: Jul 1st, 2013
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Hypochondriac given six months to live by self

‘When you’ve spent your life battling imagined ill health, you just know when a twinge in your ankle is actually something far more sinister.’

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Posted: Dec 2nd, 2011
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Slackers launch ‘Sickie’, the new charity for sufferers of minor and fictitious ailments

The new charitable foundation supports the millions of Britons whose work ethic is undermined each week by debilitating complaints such as chapped lips, pins and needles and dandruff.

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Posted: Jul 3rd, 2011
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Clichés in crisis as flea phones in sick

slackus hypochondricusThe global network of clichés has been plunged into chaos today following the news that a flea, previously considered to be the fittest of all creatures, phoned in sick today.

‘I got a call from him yesterday morning. He did sound rough, although maybe just a little too rough, if you know what I mean.’

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Posted: May 6th, 2011
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