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Posts Tagged ‘immaculate conception’

Operation Yewtree unearths historic abuse of a beloved ‘immaculate’ celebrity

Operation Yewtree has opened an investigation into remarkable claims that an underage Nazareth girl was the victim of historic child abuse.

According to some highly questionable accounts written by an anonymous doctor going by the name of Luke, the girl who is referred to only as Mary was taken advantage of by an almighty intruder who somehow managed to gain entry to her home without her parents’ knowledge. The as yet unauthenticated document seems to suggest events in which the mysterious assailant proceeded to ply the innocent Mary with holy spirit. He then asserted his divine will before finally impregnating her without leaving a single seed of evidence.

The perpetrating procreator is widely believed to be an elderly, but exceptionally potent, bearded man who seeks to control the vulnerable and irrational by using a combination of guilt psychology, threats of fiery damnation and promises of eternal milk and honey.

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Posted: Aug 24th, 2014
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Religious revival sparked by Virgin birth shark

A bonnet head shark at an aquarium in Nebraska has had a virgin birth sending shock waves round the world, and prompting a massive Christian revival across much of the United States.

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Posted: May 17th, 2007
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