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Posts Tagged ‘immigrants’

UKIP demands tighter borders until Flight MH370 found

Nigel Farage has demanded that the UK Borders Agency should to tighten border controls as the search for flight MH370 continues. The flight disappeared from radar screens en route from Kuala Lumpur to Beijng last Saturday leading to conspiracy theories of kidnap, aliens or an elaborate attempt to enter Britain.

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Posted: Mar 14th, 2014
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Cameron outlines plans to cut Scottish immigrants’ benefits

David Cameron has given details today of proposals to restrict the amount of benefits that Scottish immigrants to the UK can claim should Scotland vote for independence next year. Under the plans Scots would have to live in the UK for three months, stop pretending that Irn Bru’s better than Coke and change their ringtone to Swing Low Sweet Chariot before becoming a burden on the welfare state.

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Posted: Nov 30th, 2013
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Britain ‘comes out’ as openly racist

Union Jack, made in Indonesia for Christ's sakeIn a move that stunned many of the country’s fans, Britain today issued a formal statement saying it was coming out as openly racist.

Giving his reaction to the UK’s ‘outing’, President Obama simply said: ‘Shit.’

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Posted: May 1st, 2013
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Record numbers of cows not in employment, education or training

Look a little closer at Britain’s green and pleasant land and a new social problem will quickly become apparent. Record numbers of unemployed cows are just standing around field corners claiming millions of pounds in welfare payments from British taxpayers instead of fully engaging with society.

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Posted: Feb 15th, 2013
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Eric Pickles to be moored off Essex to provide home for Romanian immigrants

Communities Secretary Eric Pickles will become a haven for European immigrants, if plans to moor him as an artificial island become reality. The buoyant politician has already received a sea-worthiness certificate, and could soon provide a home for up to four migrants off the coast of Clacton.

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Posted: Jan 16th, 2013
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