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Posts Tagged ‘immigration’

Romanian family declines house next door to German family

A Romanian family has turned down the offer of a house in London because they don’t want to live next door to Germans.

The family – who don’t want to be named – said they had nothing against Germans.

‘It’s just that the father of this family – he is English but has a German wife and children- smokes a lot and is forever down the pub.’

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Posted: May 19th, 2014
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‘Homeless and destitute are nearly all British’ says relieved government

Immigration Minister Mark Harper has calmed Tory nerves with the news that nearly all the destitute and homeless beggars found huddled in doorways on New Year’s Day were British and not from Eastern Europe.

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Posted: Jan 3rd, 2014
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Iain Duncan Smith to host primetime TV immigration quiz show

Fair, transparent and completely on scheduleIn an initiative to make its strict new rules for immigrants to the UK more palatable to the British public, the Department for Work and Pensions are to introduce a TV quiz show into the popular teatime slot.

‘Dole Or No Dole’ will be compered by DWP Secretary Iain Duncan Smith as inquisitor ‘The Quiet Man’, and features 100 immigrant applicants being whittled down to one successful candidate every episode.

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Posted: Dec 16th, 2013
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UK Border Agency introduces height restrictions for visitors to Britain

‘We got the idea from amusement parks as a way of reducing queues.’

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Posted: Jun 28th, 2013
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UKIP Councillors bid to fill channel tunnel with concrete

At its first meeting since the recent election when UKIP won 17 of its seats, Kent County Council today put to tender an order for 102 million cubic metres of concrete which will be used on the front line in the fight against immigration by filling up the channel tunnel.

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Posted: May 9th, 2013
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