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Posts Tagged ‘immigration’

European immigrant report ‘tarnished with facts’ say UKIP

The revelation by University College London that European immigrants have contributed £20 billion more in taxes than they have taken in benefits has been criticised by Nigel Farage as ‘blighted by facts,’ adding, ‘just because it proves the opposite to what we’ve been saying ignores the simple fact that British people don’t like Europeans.’

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Posted: Nov 6th, 2014
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Major police operation after Farage missing from news for ten minutes

Police have said they are ‘desperately concerned’ for the welfare of UKIP leader Nigel Farage after he was reported missing from the news ten minutes ago.

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Posted: Oct 15th, 2014
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US to introduce border height restrictions

US border guards having to look harder to find themIn order to combat the flood of unaccompanied children through its southern states, the US is planning to implement a scheme which bans anyone who still watches ‘Sesame street’, needs help tying their shoe laces or still believes in the tooth fairy. While some fear this might unfairly target Republican nominee Rick Perry, most agree to the rewording of the Statue of Liberty: ‘Give me your tired, your poor…but no one under four foot eight’.

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Posted: Jul 26th, 2014
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Romanian family declines house next door to German family

A Romanian family has turned down the offer of a house in London because they don’t want to live next door to Germans.

The family – who don’t want to be named – said they had nothing against Germans.

‘It’s just that the father of this family – he is English but has a German wife and children- smokes a lot and is forever down the pub.’

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Posted: May 19th, 2014
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‘Homeless and destitute are nearly all British’ says relieved government

Immigration Minister Mark Harper has calmed Tory nerves with the news that nearly all the destitute and homeless beggars found huddled in doorways on New Year’s Day were British and not from Eastern Europe.

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Posted: Jan 3rd, 2014
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