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Posts Tagged ‘immigration’

Snow ‘completely unprepared’ to land in Britain

Snowflakes are up in arms about having to cope with landing in Britain, reports the Daily Hail, which describes scenes of utter chaos in clouds up and down (but mostly above) the country whilst laying the blame firmly at the door of immigrant weather.

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Posted: Jan 16th, 2013
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UK Border Agency asks illegal immigrants ‘not to wear sports kit’ during Olympics

"they come over here, steal our tracksuits..."The UK Border Agency (UKBA) has given assurances that it is ‘completely ready’ to deal with the influx of foreigners during the Olympics, as long as illegal immigrants agree not to wear sports kit over the summer.

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Posted: May 3rd, 2012
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Research shows Britain’s pubs ‘full of technocrats’

'If they try and call this a half-litre, there'll be blood..'There may be hope for the ailing UK economy, after researchers found that Britain’s pubs are ‘chock full’ of technocrats.

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Posted: Nov 17th, 2011
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Tories encourage UK households to feed British birds instead of migrants

‘Our countryside is being flooded by foreign birds coming over here to take advantage of handouts and then flying off back home for the summer. Some of them don’t even use bird baths regularly.’

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Posted: Jul 1st, 2011
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Cameron appoints Gillian Duffy as State Immigration Controller

‘In tackling both Gordon Brown and Nick Clegg, Mrs Duffy has shown she has no time for people who come here on false pretences,’ said the Prime Minister.

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Posted: Apr 14th, 2011
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