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Posts Tagged ‘intelligence’

GCHQ to encode all secret messages in Welsh

Following an internal review of the damage caused by NSA whistle blower Edward Snowden, the government’s ultra secret agency responsible for intercepting Facebook feeds and Twitter trends has announced that it is adding an additional layer to government encryption.

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Posted: Oct 9th, 2014
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Shock as Ofsted report finds pupil achievement ‘depends on intelligence’

After many years of analysis, research and data collection, Ofsted has finally determined that the overall final achievement level of children in UK schools is entirely dependent on how clever they are.

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Posted: Jul 17th, 2014
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Women who wear glasses outstrip men with shaven heads

Social Trends says that the number of men with shaven heads has remained static possibly due to their doubtful intelligence and low sperm count.

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Posted: Mar 20th, 2012
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Stunned scientists discover Stephen Fry ‘of only average intelligence’

“Our findings really shook us”, said Dr Havers, an expert in the field of perceived wisdom. “We found a causal link between ‘reading out obscure facts on television’, and an assumption by the public that he doesn’t sometimes leave his shoes in the fridge.

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Posted: Oct 13th, 2011
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