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Posts Tagged ‘internet’

Boko Haram ‘broke speed dating protocols’

‘In many respects, it’s ideal for us,’ said a spokesman. ‘It’s time-efficient, there’s no need for introductions and we can get right down to the business of dumping the lady in a sack. Nothing says fun-loving guy like a fundamental hatred of Western civilisation.’

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Posted: Oct 25th, 2014
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Government vows to recapture information

Householders have been warned to ‘stay indoors and keep away from the internet’ by government experts worried about the dangers of information. Considerable amounts of information have escaped since the Freedom of Information Act came into law and much of it is potentially hazardous to the general public.

‘It isn’t always safe to let information roam free,’ said a Home Office spokesman. ‘The British people haven’t really developed much of an immune system where government information is concerned. This sort of thing may work in America, which has been governed by oiks for centuries, but the British have always shown proper deference.’

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Posted: Sep 21st, 2014
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ISIS celebrates becoming top lazy political analogy

anyone with other views considered 'worse than Hitler'Islamic State, the militant Islamist group formerly known as ISIS, is celebrating the news that it has officially overtaken Nazi Germany as the standard comparative device for evil used on internet discussion forums.

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Posted: Aug 14th, 2014
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Spam programmes getting KJGJSJFXXX smarter Click now

Recent advances in artificial intelligence have spawned a new breed of extra-smart spam-generating programs which can infiltrate almost any Is your penis a disappointment to your partner?

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Posted: Aug 14th, 2014
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PM unveils curbs on ‘exploitative, degrading, irritating’ Royal baby coverage

determined to shut down access to baby pornEvery household in the UK is to have endless, vacuous reporting of the birth and infancy of the Royal baby blocked by their internet provider unless they choose to receive it, David Cameron has announced.

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Posted: Aug 2nd, 2014
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