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Posts Tagged ‘internet’

Password complexity to overtake poetry by 2020

‘Limericks won’t cut it’, said one IT insider. ‘They’re too predictable. Iambic pentameter will shortly be the minimum standard acceptable and even then users will need to show a wide range of metaphor and simile if they’re to defeat GCHQ’s computers.

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Posted: Dec 18th, 2014
More from News In Brief



Man backs down in Internet argument

stupid idiot's made the internet unworkableA man has stunned the world of social media by recanting his formally ‘bulletproof’ assertions made on the Internet, it can be revealed.

Forum user ‘Conspiri_Sim0n’, 37 , from ‘Hobbiton on the Shire’ said that he wished to withdraw comments 4 thru 317 from a discussion thread below a YouTube video on Tuesday, in a move thought to be the first of its kind since the demise of Netscape Navigator. ‘Furthermore I would like to apologise to the concerned user, and concede that after careful consideration that I find her points plausible and moreover, likely correct in respect of the dispute to which we were party to’ he went on, ‘Her logical rebuttal of my reactionary rhetoric has largely invalidated my position.’

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Posted: Dec 3rd, 2014
More from Science/Technology



Internet to be deleted

Faced with overwhelming numbers of cat pictures and unchallenged pseudo-political rants in the form of blogs, the brains behind some of the biggest websites in the world have decided that enough is enough. They will delete everything from the Internet at the turn of the new year and require users to start again from scratch.

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Posted: Oct 31st, 2014
More from News In Brief



Boko Haram ‘broke speed dating protocols’

‘In many respects, it’s ideal for us,’ said a spokesman. ‘It’s time-efficient, there’s no need for introductions and we can get right down to the business of dumping the lady in a sack. Nothing says fun-loving guy like a fundamental hatred of Western civilisation.’

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Posted: Oct 25th, 2014
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Government vows to recapture information

Householders have been warned to ‘stay indoors and keep away from the internet’ by government experts worried about the dangers of information. Considerable amounts of information have escaped since the Freedom of Information Act came into law and much of it is potentially hazardous to the general public.

‘It isn’t always safe to let information roam free,’ said a Home Office spokesman. ‘The British people haven’t really developed much of an immune system where government information is concerned. This sort of thing may work in America, which has been governed by oiks for centuries, but the British have always shown proper deference.’

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Posted: Sep 21st, 2014
More from Politics