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Posts Tagged ‘internet’

Grandmother thinks ‘Googling’ is sex act

‘When I was that age, well boys were gentlemen,’ recalled Mrs Harrison. ‘There wasn’t any googlin’ or ganglin’ goin on.

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Posted: Aug 20th, 2013
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New porn search software makes schoolboy a multi-billionaire

Brian Sharp, a fourteen-year-old from Leicester, has already received more than eight billion pounds’ worth of advanced orders for his new software, which codes your web search terms into innocuous phrases.

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Posted: Jul 23rd, 2013
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Internet speed ‘slugged’ in West Country to match slow pace of life

In response to customer requests, a Super-Slow Broadband internet service is being rolled out in Somerset, Devon and Cornwall. The advanced technology system recognises the speed at which the local population get things done and adapts response times accordingly.

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Posted: Jul 23rd, 2013
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Scientists discover cats have their own internet with humans doing funny things

‘We’ve always wondered what cats get up to during the day,’ said Professor Kirkwood. ‘It turns out they’re on the internet watching footage of humans falling over in the shower and walking into lampposts.’

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Posted: Jun 24th, 2013
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Adult entertainment industry mourns death of last man to pay for porn

Adult entertainers throughout the world flocked to a crematorium in south London yesterday to pay their dues to Eric Swell, the last known purchaser of full-price pornography. Germans and Swedes rubbed shoulders in the packed chapel as Mr Swell’s coffin glided through the curtains to the moving strains of ‘slap funk bass incidental 5 – the plumber rings the doorbell’.

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Posted: May 14th, 2013
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