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Posts Tagged ‘invasion’

Ill-informed Cumbrians readying for Scottish invasion

fears that reserves of Kendal Mint cake could fall into enemy handsAn eery silence has descended on Cumbria. The people are edgy, suspicious. Violence erupts in odd little bursts – a chip-shop owner advertising ‘deep fried anything’ is publicly flogged as a sympathiser; a man is stoned for telling a Billy Connolly joke.

Thousands are fleeing to the safety of Carlisle’s walls. Others are on the hilltops, eyes scouring the horizon, preparing to light the beacons at the first sign of ‘Men in Skirts’.

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Posted: Sep 15th, 2014
More from UK News



Blame for Iraq to be divided

'Don't forget the Iranians'After many decades of strife, violence and corruption culminating in a bloody civil war, it has been decided that the blame for the situation in Iraq is to be formally divided up.

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Posted: Jul 3rd, 2014
More from World News



Israel to make audacious bid for Putin

The state of Israel is thought to be planning a transfer bid for Russia’s Vladimir Putin when the summer transfer window opens, claim reliable sources.

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Posted: Mar 3rd, 2014
More from News In Brief



Russian invasion would infringe US/UK copyright

Prime Minister David Cameron has sent a stark warning to the Russian ambassador to London, saying that any military intervention in the Ukraine would be in serious breach of international law, could escalate tensions and would blatantly ‘pinch our idea!’. This sentiment was echoed by the Whitehouse, who claimed that ‘sticking their nose where it doesn’t belong’ is as American as ‘apple pie’, ‘type one diabetes’ and ‘high school massacres’.

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Posted: Mar 1st, 2014
More from World News



Mitt Romney surges ahead in polls on back of war and jobs promise

In a speech at the Republican Party national convention, US Presidential candidate Mitt Romney has promised the American people he would invade at least one oil-rich country during his first term in office and would seriously consider taking out a few non-aligned heads of state from other countries for good measure too…

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Posted: Sep 2nd, 2012
More from News In Brief