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Posts Tagged ‘investment’

Tories to rebuild Hadrian’s Wall

The Conservatives have announced plans to rebuild Hadrian’s Wall in a massive new infrastructure project that will create up to 100,000 new jobs. Project costs of £50 billion will be met by scrapping the controversial HS2 rail project. The wall is to be modelled on the DMZ that divides North and South Korea and will be renamed the ‘Thatcher parallel’.

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Posted: May 20th, 2015
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Premier league footballers corner market in Unicorn Sperm

The craze among top sportsmen for investing in equine-emission-based investment vehicles continued this week, as a consortium of Premier League footballers confirmed they have backed the building of the world’s first Unicorn Sperm Bank.

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Posted: Dec 16th, 2012
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Investing in beer a bad idea admits local drunk

Local park bench regular, Hugh Wendover, admitted yesterday that investing his money, sourced from generous donations from park visitors, was doomed to failure from the off-set.

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Posted: Feb 2nd, 2011
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Money markets panic as value of limited edition Orange Kit Kat plunges

A fresh wave of unease fell on the markets today with news that the limited edition orange Kit Kat has fallen in value by 25% during just one day‘s trading.

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Posted: Jan 31st, 2011
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