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Posts Tagged ‘iPad’

Man’s laptop shuts down for bank holiday weekend

A laptop belonging to a 28 year old Newcastle man has angered its owner by deciding to take off the bank holiday weekend. ‘I went to fire it up this morning’ says Dave Hutchins, the owner of the laptop, ‘and when I turned it on a message popped up saying ‘Dave’s laptop is off for the bank holiday weekend and will return on Tuesday 27th May, if your enquiry cannot wait until then please contact Dave’s IPad which is currently located behind a cushion on the sofa’.

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Posted: May 26th, 2014
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Grandmother in fear of iPad Christmas present

Grandmother Margaret Edwards has another thirty-six sleepless nights to endure before Christmas Day when she fears her family will be giving her an iPad as a Christmas present.

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Posted: Nov 18th, 2013
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Students drop out after finding iPads ‘full of academic shit’

‘I thought it was cool when I got an iPad to use at uni,’ said Brad Baker, who is studying English Literature. ‘Then I found out it was full of academic stuff. Sixty-eight gigs of Anglo-Saxon shit really freaked me out. I had to delete Angry Birds and stuff that mattered to make room for it. I’m well-gutted.’

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Posted: Sep 25th, 2013
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Steve Jobs unveils iHarp 2.0

He's still at it...

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Posted: Oct 18th, 2012
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iPad to give electric shock to anyone typing ‘would of’

In what one industry analyst has described as ‘a last desperate effort to yank humanity back from the edge of the abyss,’ Apple’s soon-to-be-announced iPad 3 will include a variation on spell-check software that will replace juxtapositions of the words ‘would’ and ‘of’ with the obviously grammatically correct ‘would have’, while administering a sharp electric shock.

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Posted: Mar 13th, 2012
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