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Posts Tagged ‘IPCC’

‘Dirty’ Fuel needs to be replaced with something ‘less smutty’ – insists UN

The Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) has published a damning report on how ‘excessively crude’ oils are corrupting the young with their reliance on ‘salacious carbon-intensive’ fuels and lewd references to ‘fracking’. UN scientists now support a swift transition to ‘less risqué’ forms of energy, such as ‘natural gas’ – which although fostering scatological humour does at least lower emissions ‘without lowering the tone.’

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Posted: Apr 15th, 2014
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IPCC name man responsible for climate change

The Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change has today confirmed that they are finally ready to ‘name and shame’ the man responsible for climate change.

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Posted: Apr 1st, 2014
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Stop & Search to be replaced by Slap n’ Tickle

While the inquest into Mark Duggan’s death may have exonerated officers, the Independent Police Complaints Commission is expected to recommend a radical overhaul of community policing, acts of foreplay and anything involving inflatable fruit. With over 27% of stop and search actions lacking ‘legitimacy’, the Home Office had strongly recommend a more flirtatious approach by law enforcement agencies.

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Posted: Jan 10th, 2014
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Vigilante dressed as Batman ‘failed to complete paperwork’, police allege

A man dressed as the caped crusader Batman who handed over a wanted man at a Bradford police station disappeared into the night ‘without completing the required paperwork’, say West Yorkshire police.

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Posted: Mar 5th, 2013
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