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Posts Tagged ‘iPhone’

State of emergency declared after the e-Bono virus hits Britain

An urgent public health warning has today been issued after a dangerous virus that was supposed to be someone else’s problem arrived on Great Britain’s shores last night, having entered the country via a consignment of infected Apple devices. The virus is said to have already reached epidemic status.

The BBC have reacted by broadcasting public service messages giving information on how to delete the ‘e-Bono virus’ from infected phones and iPods, though nothing can be done about alleviating the early-onset symptoms, which include ear infections, drowsiness, and ‘ranting about Bono’s wrap-around specs’.

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Posted: Sep 13th, 2014
More from Arts/Entertainment



iPhone user has ‘out-of-phone experience’ in-between operating systems

upgrade includes new app which occasionally switches the bloody phone off‘Normally I just stare at a wall from two-inches away with a blank expression in-between operating systems, but this time something different happened’

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Posted: Sep 11th, 2014
More from From The Archives



Gulf states order Blackberry users to cover their phones in a tiny burqa

no more of that naughty spam eitherNew laws in Saudi Arabia and the United Arab Emirates will require that every Blackberry user dress their phone a miniature burqa and face veil.

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Posted: Aug 27th, 2014
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New app offers manly friendship that stops you mid-sentence with glib advice

there's a prat for that!The new Glib Advisor, currently available on Android but coming to the iPhone soon, will offer manly friendship to isolated men on the go.

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Posted: May 19th, 2014
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iPhone5s buyers directed straight to queue for iPhone6

Queuing for JobsExcited buyers of Apple’s flagship new iPhone5S in Oxford Street were delighted to be directed straight to an exclusive queue for the iPhone 6 immediately after their purchase.

‘The new iPhone 5S isn’t just the greatest smartphone of all time. It’s also your ticket to get first in line for the new iPhone 6,’ said store manager Damian Walsh, ushering new owners of the £549 gadget to the start of a five-mile obstacle course of tensile barriers on a circuitous route back to the front of the store, which will be their home for the next year.

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Posted: Sep 23rd, 2013
More from Science/Technology