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Posts Tagged ‘iPhone’

State of emergency declared after the e-Bono virus hits Britain

An urgent public health warning has today been issued after a dangerous virus that was supposed to be someone else’s problem arrived on Great Britain’s shores last night, having entered the country via a consignment of infected Apple devices. The virus is said to have already reached epidemic status.

The BBC have reacted by broadcasting public service messages giving information on how to delete the ‘e-Bono virus’ from infected phones and iPods, though nothing can be done about alleviating the early-onset symptoms, which include ear infections, drowsiness, and ‘ranting about Bono’s wrap-around specs’.

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Posted: Sep 13th, 2014
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iPhone user has ‘out-of-phone experience’ in-between operating systems

upgrade includes new app which occasionally switches the bloody phone off‘Normally I just stare at a wall from two-inches away with a blank expression in-between operating systems, but this time something different happened’

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Posted: Sep 11th, 2014
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Gulf states order Blackberry users to cover their phones in a tiny burqa

no more of that naughty spam eitherNew laws in Saudi Arabia and the United Arab Emirates will require that every Blackberry user dress their phone a miniature burqa and face veil.

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Posted: Aug 27th, 2014
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New app offers manly friendship that stops you mid-sentence with glib advice

there's a prat for that!The new Glib Advisor, currently available on Android but coming to the iPhone soon, will offer manly friendship to isolated men on the go.

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Posted: May 19th, 2014
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‘All I want for Christmas is my two big boobs’ say UK’s 9 year old girls

Er...Girls in the 8-10 demographic have stated that what Santa must bring them this Noël is a pair of perfectly-formed, fully-grown breasts.

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Posted: Sep 3rd, 2013
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