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Posts Tagged ‘IRA’

Terrorists to be allowed to blow up ugly buildings

government urging them to 'just get on with it'The new scheme has been described as a ‘win, win scenario’ by Home Secretary, Theresa May.

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Posted: Jun 25th, 2014
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‘Antimatter IRA’ new threat to national security, the structure of reality

The group is reported to have seized control of an inter-dimensional portal and is now intent on hurling random antimatter artefacts at ‘symbols of Unionist oppression’ in our reality. Due to the catastrophic relationship between matter and antimatter, these could be anything from sachets of McDonalds’ discontinued ‘Mild Mustard Sauce’ to pre-remastering Phil Collins CD reissues.

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Posted: Nov 4th, 2012
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Queen and Martin McGuinness handshake destined for Sistine Chapel 

Some art historians are predicting that the iconic Michelangelo image will soon be eclipsed by the Queen-McGuinness handshake.

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Posted: Jun 28th, 2012
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Basque separatist group ETA cease operations having failed to gain ‘initial-only recognition’

‘Why couldn’t you once just say ‘ETA’?’ asked Basque separatist group ETA leader Garikoitz Aspiazu Rubina, in an emotional plea to the world’s media to afford them the same status as the IRA, the KGB and JLS, all referred to by their three letter acronyms without any explanation.

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Posted: Oct 22nd, 2011
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Gok Wan slams London rioters’ for their dress sense

Fashion guru Gok Wan was particularly critical of the poor adherence to 70’s chic, ‘Being on the world’s TV screens is a great opportunity for British fashion, so I’m particularly disappointed that people have failed to make an effort. We were expecting flowing denims, long hair and bohemian looks; resorting to a 1973-style Provo IRA balaclava really doesn’t cut it.’

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Posted: Aug 9th, 2011
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