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Posts Tagged ‘iran’

Diplomatic chaos as Iran attempts to harness power of ‘butterfly effect’

international panic will start on a small scale then escalate exponentiallyUN inspectors have been asked to investigate allegations that Iran has been secretly developing weapons grade butterflies in an attempt to use chaos theory to launch hurricanes around the world.

‘This is the nightmare scenario,’ said physicist Professor Michio Kaku. ‘The butterfly effect suggests that a single butterfly flapping its wings in one country could trigger a hurricane on the other side of the planet. Just imagine the devastation that could be caused by thousands of them all flapping together in the same direction.’

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Posted: Apr 9th, 2014
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World peace a step closer as Obama, Rouhani trade knock-knock jokes

avoided any jokes about racial, political stereotypes in this crucial first meetingIn a momentous turn of events, tensions in the Middle East appear to have eased considerably after the presidents of Iran and the US swapped knock-knock jokes for the first time in 35 years.

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Posted: Sep 29th, 2013
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Assad condemns fitness levels after ‘sudden outbreak of asthma’ among Syrians

a massive bombardment of salbutamol should sort itSyrian President Bashar al-Assad has told the world’s media that he ‘will not rest’ until residents of Damascus commit to the sort of physical exercise regime that would prevent them succumbing to the sudden bouts of asthma captured on news footage last week.

‘I am sure the whole world will join me in condemning the irresponsible lifestyle choices of my subjects,’ said President Assad today. ‘Gasping for breath, clawing at your face, even suddenly falling down and dying – any doctor will tell you that this is the fate that befalls you if you don’t partake in regular aerobic exercise. It is a sobering lesson for Syria, but we will learn from it and move on.’

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Posted: Aug 27th, 2013
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New Iranian president promises to reform Scrabble app

The newly-elected reformist Iranian president, Hassan Rouhani, has declared that his first act in office will be to reform the widely-derided Scrabble smartphone app.

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Posted: Jun 21st, 2013
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Americans getting ‘emotionally attached’ to drones

heroic drones known to be accurate to within 20 milesAn increasing number of Americans are questioning why brave drones are being sent to fight intractable wars in distant countries, with many concerned citizens becoming distraught when they don’t come back in one piece.

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Posted: May 24th, 2013
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