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Posts Tagged ‘iran’

Assad condemns fitness levels after ‘sudden outbreak of asthma’ among Syrians

a massive bombardment of salbutamol should sort itSyrian President Bashar al-Assad has told the world’s media that he ‘will not rest’ until residents of Damascus commit to the sort of physical exercise regime that would prevent them succumbing to the sudden bouts of asthma captured on news footage last week.

‘I am sure the whole world will join me in condemning the irresponsible lifestyle choices of my subjects,’ said President Assad today. ‘Gasping for breath, clawing at your face, even suddenly falling down and dying – any doctor will tell you that this is the fate that befalls you if you don’t partake in regular aerobic exercise. It is a sobering lesson for Syria, but we will learn from it and move on.’

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Posted: Aug 27th, 2013
More from World News

New Iranian president promises to reform Scrabble app

The newly-elected reformist Iranian president, Hassan Rouhani, has declared that his first act in office will be to reform the widely-derided Scrabble smartphone app.

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Posted: Jun 21st, 2013
More from News In Brief

Americans getting ‘emotionally attached’ to drones

heroic drones known to be accurate to within 20 milesAn increasing number of Americans are questioning why brave drones are being sent to fight intractable wars in distant countries, with many concerned citizens becoming distraught when they don’t come back in one piece.

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Posted: May 24th, 2013
More from World News

Terror organisation admits responsibility for ‘legal but immoral’ tax avoidance

all activities legally licensed abroadFollowing public criticism and protests against multi-national companies and the levels of tax they pay, the spotlight has moved over to Al-Qaeda. The international terrorist organisation has been operating in the UK for well over 15 years but has yet to post any taxes with HMRC.

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Posted: Dec 10th, 2012
More from UK News

Historical re-enactment of Cuban missile crisis comes ‘a bit too close’ to triggering World War III

'see you same time next year then'‘We pride ourselves on being as authentic as possible, but some of our members probably took things a bit too far by shipping over some intercontinental ballistic missiles from Russia.’

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Posted: Oct 17th, 2012
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