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Posts Tagged ‘Iraq’

IS adopts chocolate money as national currency

Without a functioning national mint, IS has implemented a monetary system largely based on gold foil-wrapped milk chocolate coins brought by British jihadists when they headed off to the scorched deserts of Iraq rather than endure another Christmas in the UK.

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Posted: Jul 12th, 2015
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Tony Blair not yet ready to buy a house in Iraq

getting in at the right time; getting out at the right time: timing is everythingMr Blair concluded that it was probably best to leave things well alone for the time being.

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Posted: Jun 26th, 2015
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Islamic State launches comparethejihad.com

at last, real choice in the Jihadi marketplaceIslamic state hopes to help jihadists “find a way of waging war against the infidel that’s right for you” by launching a jihad comparison website, it was confirmed today. “There’s a huge confusing market, particularly in afterlife care,” said a spokesman. “Al Shabab in the Maghreb has instant paradise on a kill-as-you-go deal, whereas Al Qaeda in the Yemen is offering unlimited virgins on a 24 month contract. How do you decide?”

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Posted: Jun 23rd, 2015
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Iraq ‘splitting along astrological lines’

War in IraqTraditional Shia and Sunni loyalties complicated by conflict between the Water, Fire and Earth signs

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Posted: Jun 22nd, 2015
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UK to send rolled up newspapers to Iraq, to swat flies

‘We asked for special forces, troops, tanks, planes and bullets, we got about thirty rolled up newspapers,’ moaned an Iraqi spokesman today. The Government admitted the supply of remaindered newspapers was ‘probably less than they wanted,’, but pointed out that they are also sending two corporals to train them to swat flies with the newspapers.

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Posted: Jun 8th, 2015
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