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Posts Tagged ‘Iraq’

Vanilla Ice ‘regrets’ problem solving pledge

‘At first I thought it was a joke when a little girl wanted me to find her cat. I told her to scram, but then she came back with a lawyer. It’s been non-stop ever since’. Ice’s DJ has also struggled under the workload, having to revolve his hook (the stately bass riff from Queen and David Bowie’s ‘Under Pressure’) whilst Ice solves the problems. ‘It wasn’t even a very good line’, Ice quipped, though his smile didn’t extend to his eyes.

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Posted: Oct 28th, 2015
More from Arts/Entertainment

Chilcot appearance on Just A Minute “longer than 45 minutes”

Sir John Chilcot’s debut appearance on Radio 4 panel show Just a Minute has received a critical mauling, after he hesitated more than any other player in the programme’s history and caused Monday evening’s edition to last fourteen hours instead of the usual thirty minutes.

The former civil servant and independent inquiry chair appeared on the panel alongside series regulars Paul Merton, Sue Perkins and former foreign secretary Jack Straw. As usual, Chilcot was asked to speak for sixty seconds without repetition, deviation or hesitation, but after an initial burst of energy (on the topic ‘the terms of this inquiry’) he rapidly dried up and dragged the proceedings out far longer than anybody else could ever have anticipated.

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Posted: Sep 1st, 2015
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IS adopts chocolate money as national currency

Without a functioning national mint, IS has implemented a monetary system largely based on gold foil-wrapped milk chocolate coins brought by British jihadists when they headed off to the scorched deserts of Iraq rather than endure another Christmas in the UK.

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Posted: Jul 12th, 2015
More from News In Brief

Tony Blair not yet ready to buy a house in Iraq

getting in at the right time; getting out at the right time: timing is everythingMr Blair concluded that it was probably best to leave things well alone for the time being.

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Posted: Jun 26th, 2015
More from From The Archives

Islamic State launches

at last, real choice in the Jihadi marketplaceIslamic state hopes to help jihadists “find a way of waging war against the infidel that’s right for you” by launching a jihad comparison website, it was confirmed today. “There’s a huge confusing market, particularly in afterlife care,” said a spokesman. “Al Shabab in the Maghreb has instant paradise on a kill-as-you-go deal, whereas Al Qaeda in the Yemen is offering unlimited virgins on a 24 month contract. How do you decide?”

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Posted: Jun 23rd, 2015
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