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Posts Tagged ‘Iraq’

UK to send rolled up newspapers to Iraq, to swat flies

‘We asked for special forces, troops, tanks, planes and bullets, we got about thirty rolled up newspapers,’ moaned an Iraqi spokesman today. The Government admitted the supply of remaindered newspapers was ‘probably less than they wanted,’, but pointed out that they are also sending two corporals to train them to swat flies with the newspapers.

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Posted: Jun 8th, 2015
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NATO to bomb FIFA

Colonel BlatterThe UN Security Council has agreed to use ‘all necessary means’ to end tyranny at the heart of football.

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Posted: Jun 1st, 2015
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The West gets thank you card from Iraq

The West was seen blushing today after the remaining people in Iraq presented it with handmade ‘thank you’ card, signed by everyone who hasn’t had their fingers blown off or heads amputated.

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Posted: Mar 7th, 2015
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Iraq persuaded to purchase extended warranty

Iraqi government persuaded to take out expensive extended warranty agreement in case anything went wrong when the Americans left.

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Posted: Feb 20th, 2015
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Colleges to offer NVQ in terrorism

Robert Anderson of the University of Bradford said. ‘We already teach a lot of what the NVQ will offer. We have a course on video production, so that’s your propaganda and beheading videos taken care of.’

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Posted: Jan 31st, 2015
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