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Posts Tagged ‘Iraq’

Flea infestation ‘not solved’ by blowing up house

Residents at a street in Birmingham were ‘slightly surprised’ to find that the Council had ordered an RAF airstrike to deal with a ‘modest’ pest problem.

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Posted: Sep 29th, 2014
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$1bn to fight Ebola, if Ebola agrees to be a bit more ‘Islamist-y’‏

a threat to world stability even worse than Nouri Al-MalikiPresident Obama has offered to send 3,000 American troops to Liberia to help fight the virus outbreak, on the proviso that Ebola adopts a more Jihadist approach. In turn the US industrial arms complex has said it has billions of dollars worth of weaponry waiting to be sold the moment Ebola declares a fundamentalist Islamic state, grows a beard or ‘discovers oil’.

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Posted: Sep 19th, 2014
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Poshmerga forces take Harrogate. Declare balsamic law.

After a day of heavy fighting, the new middle-class terror group has proclaimed itself ruler of Harrogate, Ripon and Knaresborough. A ‘Poshmerga’ spokesperson, identified only as ‘Debbie from Marketing’ said they were now consolidating their position, but a column of Range Rovers was observed this afternoon, headed towards Skipton.

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Posted: Sep 4th, 2014
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Dropping box-sets of ‘Fame’ on jihadists ‘last desperate throw of dice’ admits US

fame costs... and here's where you start payingThe Pentagon has revealed that US military planes have dropped box-sets of 80′s TV series ‘Fame’ in areas of Iraq currently controlled by Islamic militants. The move is seen as a daring attempt to soften the jihadist’s hard-line approach and move the fighting away from fundamentalist savagery to a more danced-based conflict.

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Posted: Sep 3rd, 2014
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The rest of the world needs to stop depressing us, complains UK‏

By steadfastly focusing on gloom in Ukraine, Iraq, Gaza and West Africa, the world’s general grumpiness has detracted from the UK’s enjoyment of a new Dr Who, Kate Bush in concert and the anticipation of Mario Balotelli going ‘bat shit crazy’ at Liverpool.

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Posted: Aug 26th, 2014
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