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Posts Tagged ‘Ireland’

UK ‘not united or a kingdom’, says EU

‘The Scots hate everyone else, the English hate the Scots, according to Nigel Farage, the Irish hate each other and the Welsh – well, heaven knows what they think at the best of times,’ ruled a Franco-German team of judges. ‘And anyway, you haven’t got a king.’

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Posted: Aug 23rd, 2013
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Irish Government sells Saint Patrick to reduce national debt

unbelievably, some Irish people still determined to get pissed tonightSt Patrick’s Day celebrations around the world are facing an uncertain future following today’s announcement by the Irish Government that it has sold the popular saint, and his associated festival day, to Germany in a desperate bid to reduce Ireland’s crippling national debt.

Saint Patrick, who has been Ireland’s national saint for over 1500 years and who is believed to be the only Irish cleric in history not to have been implicated in a child sex abuse scandal, was sold at an EU auction last night for the sum of €7.3 million, according to Taoiseach, Enda Kenny.

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Posted: Mar 16th, 2013
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Ireland: high hopes for ‘Polite Queueing’ Olympic team

As Fine Gael leader Enda Kenny does his best to emulate the stunning success of the British attempts at coalition, the Irish government-in-waiting has divulged its plans to take the UK’s place in the world with the unveiling of its ‘polite queuing’ 2012 team.

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Posted: Mar 3rd, 2011
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Al-Qaeda ask for Euro bail out

MI6 chiefs confirmed that they had received a message from Al-Qaeda asking if it would be possible for an Irish type bail-out to help them through these lean times.

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Posted: Nov 23rd, 2010
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Real IRA re-considering its position after Republic of Ireland declared ‘crap’

Ted Kennedy hasn't paid his subscription for months.The Real IRA is to end all terrorist activities after failing to come up with an answer to the question ‘who in their right mind would actually want to reunite with this piece of shoite in the South?’.

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Posted: Oct 1st, 2010
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