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Posts Tagged ‘IS’

Manchester United to pay $200 million for Japanese IS captives

‘Negotiations were very tense,’ admitted the club’s chief executive, Ed Woodward. ‘We tried to haggle but their agent, John, didn’t seem in the mood and we needed to do the deal before Chelsea and Real Madrid got involved.’

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Posted: Jan 21st, 2015
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Twelve amused and four left laughing in satirical attack on IS headquarters

an artist's impression of something which might not have happenedTwelve members of Islamic State have been left seriously amused after a ruthless gang of satirists forced their way into its headquarters and proceeded to ridicule up the place.

Sarcasm, parody and irony are all said to have been used in what many are seeing as a broader attack on everyone’s freedom to stone homosexuals or cut babies in half.

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Posted: Jan 7th, 2015
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Islamic State ‘disappointed at UK fighters ability to wash dishes’

‘They’re lazy, want to stay in bed all day playing Call of Duty on their XBox consoles,’ he told reporters, ‘and what’s worse is that some of these twats have knocked me off the leader board,’ he added.

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Posted: Dec 4th, 2014
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$1bn to fight Ebola, if Ebola agrees to be a bit more ‘Islamist-y’‏

a threat to world stability even worse than Nouri Al-MalikiPresident Obama has offered to send 3,000 American troops to Liberia to help fight the virus outbreak, on the proviso that Ebola adopts a more Jihadist approach. In turn the US industrial arms complex has said it has billions of dollars worth of weaponry waiting to be sold the moment Ebola declares a fundamentalist Islamic state, grows a beard or ‘discovers oil’.

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Posted: Sep 19th, 2014
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IS look to Satchi & Satchi for PR

Mohammed Ahmad, head of Public Relations for Islamic State has admitted that his department isn’t performing as well as he expected. ‘I felt the timing of the name change from ISIS to IS was a mistake, plus I was gutted when my favoured choice of rebranding name, Consignia, wasn’t available’ he said.

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Posted: Aug 27th, 2014
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