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Posts Tagged ‘ISIL’

Threat of more film titles is a ‘clear and present danger’

The Prime Minister today signalled that official statements will have a cinematic wording to heighten fear, avoid nuance and ‘sell popcorn’. Referring to drone-strike victim Reyaad Khan, a spokesman for David Cameron insisted that there were: ’8 million ways to die not least of which was a bullet to the head…’

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Posted: Sep 9th, 2015
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Islamic State launches

at last, real choice in the Jihadi marketplaceIslamic state hopes to help jihadists “find a way of waging war against the infidel that’s right for you” by launching a jihad comparison website, it was confirmed today. “There’s a huge confusing market, particularly in afterlife care,” said a spokesman. “Al Shabab in the Maghreb has instant paradise on a kill-as-you-go deal, whereas Al Qaeda in the Yemen is offering unlimited virgins on a 24 month contract. How do you decide?”

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Posted: Jun 23rd, 2015
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Iraq persuaded to purchase extended warranty

Iraqi government persuaded to take out expensive extended warranty agreement in case anything went wrong when the Americans left.

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Posted: Feb 20th, 2015
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Socialist jihadis declare Islamic Welfare State

a simple 'thank you' would also go a long wayA left-wing IS splinter cell has today declared an Islamic socialist caliphate in a bid to halt the plight of jobless jihadis and bombers on the breadline.

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Posted: Feb 16th, 2015
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Twelve amused and four left laughing in satirical attack on IS headquarters

an artist's impression of something which might not have happenedTwelve members of Islamic State have been left seriously amused after a ruthless gang of satirists forced their way into its headquarters and proceeded to ridicule up the place.

Sarcasm, parody and irony are all said to have been used in what many are seeing as a broader attack on everyone’s freedom to stone homosexuals or cut babies in half.

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Posted: Jan 7th, 2015
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