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Posts Tagged ‘ISIS’

Greenpeace praises ISIS’s low carbon execution methods

‘While Greenpeace would not condone violence – unless it’s a climate change sceptic and there are no cameras present – we must single out ISIS for their commitment to low carbon outcomes,’ said Greenpeace’s business spokesperson, Susan Mueslini.

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Posted: Apr 24th, 2015
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ISIS health service ‘in crisis’

Leading figures from the feared Islamic State have issued a statement today claiming that their segregated health service is already in ‘crisis’.

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Posted: Mar 23rd, 2015
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Islamic State leader remains calm over sub-standard mayo sandwich

Although specifically asking for no mayonnaise on the sandwich he ordered yesterday evening following a long, stressful day, Islamic State leader Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi was disappointed to find that someone had not paid enough attention to his orders and completely drenched the whole thing in sauce.

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Posted: Mar 19th, 2015
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Voldemort was a ‘beautiful man radicalised by wizard baby’, claims group

bit of a kitten reallyLord Voldemort, now revealed to be former Hogwarts student Tom Riddle, was today described by an advocacy group as a ‘beautiful man’, whose violent actions can be traced back to a ‘long campaign of harassment by the same schoolboy’.

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Posted: Mar 9th, 2015
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Ofsted criticises ‘simplistic’ Jihadi Janet & John books

nothing like as convincing as an ISIS iPhone appPoor teaching materials are being blamed for falling standards of radicalisation in state schools, according to a recent Ofsted inspection. When Year 8-10 pupils should be reading the Qu’ran and instructions on how to make cluster bombs, all too many are still looking at the simplistic dogma of Jihadi Janet and John.

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Posted: Mar 5th, 2015
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