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Posts Tagged ‘ISIS’

Seagulls could be used in war against IS, warns Cameron

per ardua, ad chipsDavid Cameron has said seagulls from Devon and Cornwall could be sent to Syria in a bid to help coalition forces tackle Islamist insurgents. A spokesperson for the unfussy seabirds said the gulls were definitely ‘up for a fight’.

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Posted: Jul 25th, 2015
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Cameron to fight radicalisation with £53,000 student debt promise

David Cameron has pledged to tackle radical extremism amongst young Muslims by telling them that a place at a top UK university would only cost them £53,000 each.

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Posted: Jul 22nd, 2015
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IS adopts chocolate money as national currency

Without a functioning national mint, IS has implemented a monetary system largely based on gold foil-wrapped milk chocolate coins brought by British jihadists when they headed off to the scorched deserts of Iraq rather than endure another Christmas in the UK.

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Posted: Jul 12th, 2015
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Islamic State launches comparethejihad.com

at last, real choice in the Jihadi marketplaceIslamic state hopes to help jihadists “find a way of waging war against the infidel that’s right for you” by launching a jihad comparison website, it was confirmed today. “There’s a huge confusing market, particularly in afterlife care,” said a spokesman. “Al Shabab in the Maghreb has instant paradise on a kill-as-you-go deal, whereas Al Qaeda in the Yemen is offering unlimited virgins on a 24 month contract. How do you decide?”

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Posted: Jun 23rd, 2015
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Suicide bombing ‘should be illegal for Under 18s’

‘If he had been 18 – well, fair enough. Eighteen is fine. In fact, if he’d been in his twenties I’d have been positively bored by the story.’

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Posted: Jun 16th, 2015
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