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Posts Tagged ‘ISIS’

Goths getting in the way of fight against terrorism

Home Secretary Theresa May has published a new report that blames Goths for hampering the war against terror. ‘It would all have been over years ago if it wasn’t for the stupid bloody Goths posting all their self-harm and suicidal fantasies online,’ she said.

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Posted: Jan 22nd, 2015
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Islamic State tweets ‘haters gonna hate’

Hacking into the US military’s Centcom account, hackers working for IS have sent a clear message to the world that ‘Harry Styles is lush’. Using social media, the terrorist organisation has spelt out their commitment to a Middle Eastern caliphate, a continued reign of violence and ‘the spamming of lol catz’.

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Posted: Jan 14th, 2015
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Twelve amused and four left laughing in satirical attack on IS headquarters

an artist's impression of something which might not have happenedTwelve members of Islamic State have been left seriously amused after a ruthless gang of satirists forced their way into its headquarters and proceeded to ridicule up the place.

Sarcasm, parody and irony are all said to have been used in what many are seeing as a broader attack on everyone’s freedom to stone homosexuals or cut babies in half.

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Posted: Jan 7th, 2015
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Islamic State ‘disappointed at UK fighters ability to wash dishes’

‘They’re lazy, want to stay in bed all day playing Call of Duty on their XBox consoles,’ he told reporters, ‘and what’s worse is that some of these twats have knocked me off the leader board,’ he added.

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Posted: Dec 4th, 2014
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Terror threat raised as Cotswolds Vicar declares Church of England Caliphate

The truth will set you free. What faith will do, nobody really knows...With much of the world distracted by the campaign against ISIS in the Middle East, Britain faces a new home-grown terror threat, after Stow-In- the-Wold vicar Jeremy Blythe pronounced an independent Anglican Caliphate stretching across much of rural Oxfordshire.

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Posted: Nov 19th, 2014
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