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Posts Tagged ‘Islam’

Church of England ‘forces women into bobble hats’

the Devil doesn't wear Pom PomsCovering should be ‘fluffy, preferably woollen, with a pom-pom on top’.

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Posted: Mar 5th, 2015
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God ‘gutted’ after Jesus signs for Islam on a free contract

Jesus‘the time’s now right to move out of my comfort zone and try something new.‘

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Posted: Jan 18th, 2015
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Gulf states order Blackberry users to cover their phones in a tiny burqa

no more of that naughty spam eitherNew laws in Saudi Arabia and the United Arab Emirates will require that every Blackberry user dress their phone a miniature burqa and face veil.

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Posted: Aug 27th, 2014
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‘Guess Who? Religious Edition’ criticised for leaving out Muhammad

eternally damned if you do, eternally damned if you don't‘We have all of the main Gods, sons of Gods, and other religious characters, but we just couldn’t find an up-to-date picture of Muhammad’.

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Posted: Aug 6th, 2014
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Gaza ceasefire made possible by shared love of Quorn

the basis for a two-course solutionMiddle-east negotiators have told journalists how they hope to broker a ceasefire agreement by reminding both sides that they share a love of Quorn meat-free products.

‘We were desperately trying to come up with some common ground over breakfast yesterday morning,’ explained UN Secretary General Ban Ki-Moon. ‘Just as I was popping a piece of succulent pork sausage into my mouth I suddenly thought, neither the Israelis nor the Palestinians would be able to do that. Then it hit me – they both probably love Quorn sausages instead! They’ve got no pork in them, they’re perfect for both religions.’

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Posted: Jul 17th, 2014
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