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Posts Tagged ‘Islamic State’

ISIS health service ‘in crisis’

Leading figures from the feared Islamic State have issued a statement today claiming that their segregated health service is already in ‘crisis’.

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Posted: Mar 23rd, 2015
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Club 18 – 30 urged to drop Syria from its itinerary

Hedonistic travel operator Club 18 – 30 has found itself under increasing pressure to abandon its popular new destination Syria.

‘It’s true, we’ve had a bit of support for our Jihad weekend breaks,’ said a Club 18 – 30 spokesman, ‘but to be honest, the reps aren’t happy. The hotels tend to be in a state of disrepair, even before the hen parties trash them, and providing Brits on tour with sidearms is just asking for trouble.’

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Posted: Mar 21st, 2015
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Islamic State leader remains calm over sub-standard mayo sandwich

Although specifically asking for no mayonnaise on the sandwich he ordered yesterday evening following a long, stressful day, Islamic State leader Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi was disappointed to find that someone had not paid enough attention to his orders and completely drenched the whole thing in sauce.

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Posted: Mar 19th, 2015
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Teen asks court to prevent her travelling to Cornwall for holiday with parents

Sixteen-year-old Brenda Jones has asked the Family Court to stop her travelling to Cornwall for a week’s holiday with her parents.

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Posted: Mar 18th, 2015
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Runaway teens disappointed that Islamic State doesn’t have Apple Watch

London teenagers who travelled to Syria to become jihadists want to return home because IS doesn’t have the Apple Watch. Several Facebook postings by the runaway teens shows them lamenting the absence of Apple Watch despite prayers and appeals to the Islamic State’s religious leaders.

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Posted: Mar 17th, 2015
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