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Posts Tagged ‘Islamic State’

Manchester United to pay $200 million for Japanese IS captives

‘Negotiations were very tense,’ admitted the club’s chief executive, Ed Woodward. ‘We tried to haggle but their agent, John, didn’t seem in the mood and we needed to do the deal before Chelsea and Real Madrid got involved.’

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Posted: Jan 21st, 2015
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Islamic State tweets ‘haters gonna hate’

Hacking into the US military’s Centcom account, hackers working for IS have sent a clear message to the world that ‘Harry Styles is lush’. Using social media, the terrorist organisation has spelt out their commitment to a Middle Eastern caliphate, a continued reign of violence and ‘the spamming of lol catz’.

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Posted: Jan 14th, 2015
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Islamic State releases iPhone 6 bending video

The ‘deeply harrowing’ footage shows a pristine handset being subjected to brutal strength that distorts and deforms its delicate aluminium shell. The video fades to black and after a brief message denouncing Western imperialism the iPhone is shown again, this time with a black screen

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Posted: Sep 25th, 2014
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Ryanair offers budget air strikes

Ryanair today announced today that it would offer economy air strikes on extremist positions, if they happened to be along existing flight paths. ‘We get people to where they need to go,’ said CEO Michael O’Leary, ‘and if those people happen to be air-to-surface missiles that need to go up some nutcase’s arse, then we can accommodate them at the lowest price.’

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Posted: Sep 24th, 2014
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ISIS celebrates becoming top lazy political analogy

anyone with other views considered 'worse than Hitler'Islamic State, the militant Islamist group formerly known as ISIS, is celebrating the news that it has officially overtaken Nazi Germany as the standard comparative device for evil used on internet discussion forums.

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Posted: Aug 14th, 2014
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