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Posts Tagged ‘isle of wight’

Dozens feared inconvenienced as bikers clash outside Isle of Wight cafe

mods and rocking chairsPolice were called to the Blue Rinse Cafe on the seafront at Shanklin, Isle of Wight, yesterday to deal with an outbreak of the type of violence not seen since the mid-1960s. The trouble is understood to have erupted when a gang on mobility scooters aggressively took the last parking spaces. The number of those mildly put out is put at nine, but may rise.

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Posted: May 18th, 2015
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Bear Grylls publishes ‘To Grill a Flocking Bird’

existence of such a manuscript described as 'medium-rare'The book world is literally ablaze with astonishment today on reading the news that notorious agoraphile and mucky-pup Bear Grylls has stepped in to fill the bird-mocking void left by Harper Lee more than fifty-five years ago.

However, unlike Lee’s dreary black and white yarn of a mute lawyer imprisoned in a bird infested attic, Bear has crafted a complex and touching narrative that explores the positive aspects of racism, class, prejudice, injustice, and how best to catch and consume migrating wildlife.

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Posted: Feb 4th, 2015
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Tesco bag spotted in Isle of Wight airspace

attempts by the small community to shoot it down failed miserably‘I was just sitting back, holding me spuds, when I saw this bird-like thing hovering about 20 yards above the sheds.’

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Posted: Sep 14th, 2014
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Impotent man has best kept house on street

Roger Jameson, a 57-year-old chartered surveyor from Ryde in the Isle of Wight, who has been suffering with impotence for the last four months, has recently thrown himself into a frenzy of DIY and household chores in an attempt to hide the problem from his ‘delighted’ wife Sheila, 55.

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Posted: Aug 12th, 2014
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Supper hopes fading for lost Isle of Wight mountaineers

thoughts of tartare sauce 'keeping them going'Three intrepid pensionsers who set off to climb Shanklin Chine have not been sighted in the best part of two hours

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Posted: Jul 6th, 2014
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