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Posts Tagged ‘isle of wight’

Tesco bag spotted in Isle of Wight airspace

attempts by the small community to shoot it down failed miserably‘I was just sitting back, holding me spuds, when I saw this bird-like thing hovering about 20 yards above the sheds.’

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Posted: Sep 14th, 2014
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Impotent man has best kept house on street

Roger Jameson, a 57-year-old chartered surveyor from Ryde in the Isle of Wight, who has been suffering with impotence for the last four months, has recently thrown himself into a frenzy of DIY and household chores in an attempt to hide the problem from his ‘delighted’ wife Sheila, 55.

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Posted: Aug 12th, 2014
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Supper hopes fading for lost Isle of Wight mountaineers

thoughts of tartare sauce 'keeping them going'Three intrepid pensionsers who set off to climb Shanklin Chine have not been sighted in the best part of two hours

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Posted: Jul 6th, 2014
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Airline tragedy continues as Isle of Wight couple told: still no sign of ‘missing’ luggage

see you on the other sideWhile the eyes of the world are turned towards finding Malaysia Airlines flight MH370, tension continues to mount for Mr & Mrs Nichols of Ventnor who, despite being in the second week of a package tour of the Algarve, are still without their wheeled-travel bags.

More than 20 nations have been asked to help search for the lost MH370 but as yet not one nation has offered assistance to find the Nichols’ fresh underwear, three bottles of ketchup and that ‘sexy something’ Mrs Nichols had a agreed to pack as a ‘holiday treat’.

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Posted: Mar 18th, 2014
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‘Our floppy disk is almost full’, admits Isle of Wight Security Agency

The Isle of Wight’s Head of Digital Strategy, Alfred Cooper, has admitted today that the Island’s homeland security may be compromised if, as looks possible, the disk on which top secret security information is stored reaches its 1.4Mb limit.

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Posted: Jan 21st, 2014
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