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Posts Tagged ‘Israel’

Israeli tourists ‘gutted’ that they’re not welcome in Bradford

Tel Aviv airport was unusually quiet yesterday following George Galloway’s announcement that Bradford is to be an ‘Israel-free zone.’ ‘Normally there would be three or four flights a day to Leeds Bradford airport’, a spokesman said. ‘Israelis love Bradford.’

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Posted: Aug 31st, 2014
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USA sends $47M to Gaza to build more targets for the Israelis

Last night US Congress agreed on an emergency package of $47 million to send to Gaza in order for them to construct better targets for the Israeli Air Force.

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Posted: Aug 19th, 2014
More from News In Brief



Middle East peace breaks out after cutting Twitter meme

Israelis, Sunni and Shia Muslims, Druze and Yazidis danced arm in arm last night after agreeing that John Stevens of Luton had completely ‘nailed it’ in a JPG he tweeted at 00.13 on Sunday that totally summed up the hypocrisy on all sides and proved that everyone was equally right and wrong on everything.

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Posted: Aug 12th, 2014
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Urgent call for cease-ceasefire in Gaza

Israel and Hamas should call a halt to the seemingly endless cycle of damaging ceasefires and return to normal hostilities as soon as possible, a consortium of global arms manufacturers and governments has said.

A group of leading weapons manufacturers and distributors from around the globe has spoken out about the challenges to the industry presented by ‘totally disproportionate’ attempts to resort to peace. ‘How are we supposed to carry on with our work when we don’t know whether they’re bombing each other or temporarily not bombing each other?’ demanded a spokesman. ‘We’ve got families to think about. Ours, not theirs, obviously.’

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Posted: Aug 2nd, 2014
More from World News



Israel shuns peace deal in favour of a good PR firm

Mr Happy Tank wants you to come out and playThe Israeli Knesset has rejected the Gaza peace proposal put forward by US Secretary of State, John Kerry, in favour of a modest 12-hour truce – purposely designed to be long enough for Israeli soldiers to get a good night’s sleep, identify new targets and reload their missiles. A spokesman for Prime Minister Netanyahu has made it clear that what is really needed is a ‘…tabulated program of action to earn public understanding and acceptance’ codenamed ‘Turd Polish’.

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Posted: Jul 27th, 2014
More from World News