An impressed Home Office is strongly considering implementing Israeli-Style border control that will essentially involve machine-gunning anyone without an up-to-date passport. It is hoped the new measures will discourage people smugglers, but it is also going to be used on stag party revellers returning from Magaluf and Marbella, [read...]
‘As an Orthodox fundamentalist, I believe that Yahweh gifted the Land of Israel to the Jews for all time,’ said Baruch Levy, an Israeli settler on the Golan Heights. ‘But on the other hand, mmmm, [read...]
Following the revelation that Priti Patel attempted to subsidise the Israeli army with foreign aid, it transpires that she also tried to claim cold weather payments for pensioners in Tel Aviv and disability living allowance for Uri Geller. [read...]
Following her dismissal from the government, Pinewood Studios has announced that Priti Patel will replace Daniel Craig as James Bond and is already shooting her first film. This decision was taken based on Patel’s ability to travel abroad, [read...]
While Donald Trump is busy conflating the Israel/Palestine question with his breakfast order, the United Nations has suggested that a divided ownership of the President’s ideas might be best for all concerned. This would mean that the US retains ownership of Trump’s policies on women, [read...]
