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Posts Tagged ‘Israel’

District Council turns down Israeli planning application for 3000 new homes

‘As council leaders we were worried about the loss of visual amenity to local people and the pressure it would put on local roads and schools. We are committed to keeping the green belt intact at all costs’.

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Posted: Dec 5th, 2012
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Laboratoires Garnier chosen to test Arafat remains

A spokesbeauty for Garnier said, ‘We suspect polonium-210, but we’re not ruling out other possibilities, such as alpha hydroxy acids, pro-retinol, jojoba oil, pH-balancing rhino jizz or even aqua.’

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Posted: Nov 30th, 2012
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London kebab shop destroyed in Israeli raid on Hummus

There were fresh calls for an immediate ceasefire in the war torn Middle East last night after an Israeli F16 jet fighter targeted and destroyed a kebab shop in Upton Park East London leaving the proprietor and 12 customers dead. It is believed the tragic mix up occurred when the pilot was told to “Get me some hummus” by his flight commander

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Posted: Nov 21st, 2012
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God finally agrees to save Queen

One is with GodAfter years of indecision and holy fights with his conscience, God has finally decided to save the Queen.

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Posted: Nov 18th, 2012
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Iran conducts test of long-range tickling stick

What a wonderful day for flinging a custard pie in the face of the President of Iran and saying Slam-me-dinner-plate-in-that The surface-to-surface weapon has a range of up to 1,200 miles and has caused panic among Israeli and American diplomats who fear that it could be used to cause outbreaks of squirming and hilarity in the already troubled region.

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Posted: Jul 8th, 2012
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