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Posts Tagged ‘IT’

IT industry could run out of bullshit in five years warns report

Computer specialists are running out of options for making the bleeding obvious sound like a work of genius, generated by an elite race of VIP human. Data scientists say there are only a few more ludicrous variations they can create out of existing terms, before they are forced to admit it was all a ‘Jedi mind trick’.

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Posted: Oct 6th, 2015
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Playground in crisis as game of ‘It’ declared void by schoolboy who ‘wasn’t ready’

A school playground was plunged into confusion yesterday when a seven-year old boy demanded that a game of ‘It’ be restarted because he was not ready.

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Posted: Feb 4th, 2015
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Schools to introduce extra lessons for kids to turn off porn filters for parents

‘Once the new porn filters take effect, parents’ first port of call will be to ask their children to sort out the problem.’

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Posted: Jul 31st, 2013
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Woman defies advice and enters Maplins without a man

‘I’d spoken to my husband the night before and so I thought I knew what we wanted,’ she said. ‘But after talking to a few of the assistants, I quickly realised I was way, way out of my depth.’

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Posted: Jul 14th, 2012
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IT company employee wins award for Britain’s Most Pointless Job Title

‘For years I’ve had people laughing openly to my face while I try and explain what I do. But it’s good to know that all that humiliation was worth it.’

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Posted: May 31st, 2012
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