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Posts Tagged ‘ITV’

Multiple Archers characters to die to stop BBC listeners downloading podcasts

The BBC has announced that an unpredictable outbreak of murder, suicide, accidental death, lethal machinery malfunction, alien abduction and Ebola will hit Ambridge, leading to a veritable genocide of characters from The Archers. This, the corporation added, is the result of an initiative to keep listeners tuning in to the familiar speech service, rather than turning to commercially-backed podcasts. At least one Ambridge resident a week will be dying in order to protect listening figures and safeguard jobs at BBC Birmingham.

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Posted: Nov 13th, 2015
More from Arts/Entertainment

Australian ‘I’m a Celebrity’ to be filmed in Isle of Wight

‘Bush tucker trials’ will be replaced with ‘rambler challenges’ where, for example, contestants will be force-fed cream teas until they can take no more or they would be placed in a pub snug with a rambling pensioner’s horny Labrador for four minutes without moving.

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Posted: Nov 13th, 2015
More from News In Brief

ITV to have advertisements during Peston pauses

TV commercials will feature during gaps in Robert Peston’s ‘idiosyncratic’ speech, when he joins the independent broadcaster next year.

ITV spokesperson Micky Smyth told a press conference that said the idea would both enhance ITV shareholder’s profits and provide a useful way of informing viewers without compromising editorial standards or impartiality. Products to be unpredictably ‘micro-advertised’, while Peston thinks up what to say next include holidays in Egypt, male grooming products and something else, as yet not thought of but probably just as commercially lucrative.

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Posted: Nov 9th, 2015
More from UK News

Robert Peston to pioneer casual Fridays at ITV

The BBC’s economics editor is to leave his lucrative position as ‘man who pretends to know stuff after it has happened’ and to take-over the role of ITV’s dress-down expert.  Known for his tenuous relationship with formal attire, Mr. Peston is expected to introduce a range of clothing items to news reporting; including flip-flops, rompers and the ‘banana hammock’.

Critics of Mr. Preston’s dress sense have raised concerns that his appointment may lead to a deluge of topless ITV journalists.

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Posted: Oct 8th, 2015
More from Arts/Entertainment

Simon Cowell’s new show to find official ‘Best Thing Since Sliced Bread’

now looking for a profitable topping Porn, hamsters and Mohammed emerging as early favourites

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Posted: Oct 1st, 2015
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