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Posts Tagged ‘ITV’

‘Ebola’ bookies favourite to win Britain’s Got Talent

a new superstar to consume the public's hearts and mindsThe odds of a non-UK resident winning series eight of the ever popular talent show have dramatically shortened today, with the late entry of an outbreak of virulent hemorrhagic fever from Guinea.

Seen as ‘more photogenic than SuBo’, the virus promises to be just as ‘virulent as Diversity’, as ‘deadly as Paul Potts’ and guaranteed to cause ‘more internal bleeding’ than Jai McDowall’s last album. The 2012 BGT tour was axed due to low ticket sales, but EBOV is committed to ‘filling emergency rooms up and down the land’.

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Posted: Apr 1st, 2014
More from Arts/Entertainment



Man caught watching Crimewatch without a TV Licence

‘I was just watching Crimewatch to see who they were chasing this week,’ said Bill Evans of Basingstoke, ‘and Doris, that’s the wife, said “isn’t that our front door?”. Well bugger me but just then the door flew open and Nick Ross and a load of cameramen piled into our front room. It was criminal.’

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Posted: Mar 24th, 2014
More from News In Brief



Royal dress designer, who designed royal dress, comes second

Emanuel, a dress designer who designed Princess Diana’s wedding dress and has had surgery for prostate cancer, said he thought if he could conquer his illness, he could conquer the jungle. ‘Designing Princess Diana’s wedding dress was a walk in the jungle compared to being in the jungle,’ said Emanuel, who designed Princess Diana’s wedding dress.

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Posted: Dec 10th, 2013
More from News In Brief



I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here to be filmed directly from Belmarsh Prison

‘it’s more believable – I mean, the viewers won’t be in any doubt that the celebs actually do want to get the hell out of there.’

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Posted: Nov 4th, 2013
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Care for the elderly ‘bloopers reel’ to be released

ITV has proudly announced that hidden camera footage of Britain’s care homes will form the basis of a ‘hilarious’ one hour Xmas special, narrated by the ‘consistently funny’ James Corden. The revamped inspection regime is expected to yield hip-splitting pratfalls, accidental bed baths and an uproarious recording of an Alzheimer’s patient forced to re-enact the Blitz.

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Posted: Oct 16th, 2013
More from News In Brief