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Posts Tagged ‘ITV’

Political parties given go ahead for new Subliminal Election Broadcasts

public currently still thinking for themselvesFrom next year, the traditional Party Election Broadcast will be replaced by a blipvert that operates below the threshold of human conscious perception. ‘The old party political broadcasts suffered from a terrible flaw,’ explained Tory party strategist Lynton Crosby. ‘As soon as anyone realised they were watching one, they immediately switched over.’

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Posted: May 6th, 2014
More from Politics



Rise in cannabis farms linked to new BBC show ‘Hash in the Attic’

just think what it could be worth!Hopes to raise money for the households they visit by using their lofts to cultivate vast crops of illegal drugs and then auctioning them on street corners.

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Posted: Apr 29th, 2014
More from From The Archives



‘Ebola’ bookies favourite to win Britain’s Got Talent

a new superstar to consume the public's hearts and mindsThe odds of a non-UK resident winning series eight of the ever popular talent show have dramatically shortened today, with the late entry of an outbreak of virulent hemorrhagic fever from Guinea.

Seen as ‘more photogenic than SuBo’, the virus promises to be just as ‘virulent as Diversity’, as ‘deadly as Paul Potts’ and guaranteed to cause ‘more internal bleeding’ than Jai McDowall’s last album. The 2012 BGT tour was axed due to low ticket sales, but EBOV is committed to ‘filling emergency rooms up and down the land’.

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Posted: Apr 1st, 2014
More from Arts/Entertainment



Man caught watching Crimewatch without a TV Licence

‘I was just watching Crimewatch to see who they were chasing this week,’ said Bill Evans of Basingstoke, ‘and Doris, that’s the wife, said “isn’t that our front door?”. Well bugger me but just then the door flew open and Nick Ross and a load of cameramen piled into our front room. It was criminal.’

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Posted: Mar 24th, 2014
More from News In Brief



Royal dress designer, who designed royal dress, comes second

Emanuel, a dress designer who designed Princess Diana’s wedding dress and has had surgery for prostate cancer, said he thought if he could conquer his illness, he could conquer the jungle. ‘Designing Princess Diana’s wedding dress was a walk in the jungle compared to being in the jungle,’ said Emanuel, who designed Princess Diana’s wedding dress.

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Posted: Dec 10th, 2013
More from News In Brief