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Posts Tagged ‘jack the ripper’

Polish Jack the Ripper ‘probably had a free council house too’, claim UKIP

The mystery surrounding Britain’s most notorious serial killer ‘Jack the Ripper’ has finally been solved this week, after ‘conclusive DNA evidence’ revealed him to be Polish immigrant Aaron Kosminski, a hairdresser living in Whitechapel. The startling revelation has caught the attention of the world, including UKIP, who have already claimed that Kosminski was ‘probably a sponger’.

‘This just proves that, even nineteenth-century England would have been a safer place, had UKIP been around’, said party leader Nigel Farage today. ‘Looking at his handy work, I always guessed he was eastern European. He no doubt arrived illegally and was given a massive council house, or whatever the equivalent was back then’.

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Posted: Sep 7th, 2014
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‘Ripper may have used a Toblerone’ say experts

A team from the Unsolved Crime Squad say they are looking into the possibility that Jack the Ripper may have butchered his victims using a Toblerone.

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Posted: Mar 27th, 2013
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