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Posts Tagged ‘James Bond’

Release of new 007 movie in doubt after James Bond ‘hopelessly compromised’ by endless TV appearances

licensed to make a killingThe new 007 film ‘Skyfall’ may never be released after MI5 became concerned that the secret agent at the heart of the operation, James Bond, has become so famous that he can’t go anywhere without being recognised. To allow him to continue with the missions planned for the film would be to put his and possibly many others’ livelihoods at risk, the intelligence agency confirmed.

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Posted: Oct 9th, 2012
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Royal corgi to get state funeral

David Cameron has announced there is to be three days of mourning, a public holiday and a state funeral in memory of Monty Windsor, the Royal corgi who sadly passed away over the weekend.

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Posted: Sep 10th, 2012
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James Bond pulled from Olympics promo as ‘license to kill’ found to have expired

It transpires that his ‘license to kill’ expired in 1995, meaning he has technically committed 384 murders in the intervening period.

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Posted: Apr 4th, 2012
More from News In Brief



Dr Evil in court over intruder death

bail set at 'a trillion dollars'Dr Evil faces charges over alleged unlawful killing of a burglar at a hollowed out volcano, which doubles as his home and workplace.

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Posted: Oct 18th, 2011
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James Bond resigns from MI5 citing ‘too much paperwork’

ready to killJames Bond, the secret agent formerly known as 007, has resigned from MI5, citing excessive paperwork, political correctness and boring villain’s lairs as making his life as a government assassin unbearable.

‘When I started out as a hired killer for the UK goverment, I was given a gun and allowed to take out anyone I liked. I fought the real super-villains, who built rocket launching sites inside volcanoes, supertankers that swallowed submarines, space stations and the like – most of them with monorails. On the way, I could have unprotected sex with any woman I fancied. But the assassination of Osama bin Laden shows how frustrating having a license to kill has become.’

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Posted: May 19th, 2011
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