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Posts Tagged ‘Jane Austen’

Derbyshire destroyed as romantic hero smoulders that little bit too much

'George Clooney, and now this!' bemoan spinstersAccording to unofficial reports, most of Derbyshire was destroyed by fire yesterday following an incident in the grounds of Pemberley House, near Lambton. It appears that the owner, Mr Fitzwilliam Darcy, a handsome gentleman with a fortune of £9,000 per year began to brood out of control when taking a turn in the gardens with Miss Elizabeth Bennett, the demure yet witty daughter of an impoverished local parson.

‘With hindsight, Mr Darcy was an accident waiting to happen,’ said Commander Ray Walker of the Peak District Fire Brigade. ‘Such was the ardour of his unspoken passion that his breeches had spontaneously combusted several times before. Apparently this once forced him to dive into a lake in the grounds. Several young ladies who witnessed him climb out were later found reduced to ashes and damp petticoats.’

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Posted: Oct 21st, 2014
More from Arts/Entertainment



Jeffrey Archer’s lack of style imposed by editors, says researcher

Following revelations that Jane Austen was a near illiterate whose style was the work of editors, a new scandal has hit the world of books.

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Posted: Oct 28th, 2010
More from News In Brief



Police vow crackdown on Jane Austen ‘coquette’ culture

Police appealing for a bit of common sense, and sensibilityYoung ladies are falling out of assembly rooms at night, a giggling mass of fluttering fans and heaving bosoms in tight corsets.

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Posted: Nov 9th, 2009
More from Arts/Entertainment, UK News



New ITV adaptation of Pride and Prejudice to be screened over 240 consecutive nights

Leading independent broadcaster ITV has announced a new and exciting interpretation of the classic Jane Austen work to fit in with new broadcasting rules announced by the government yesterday.
The full show will total two hours but will be ‘pithy, punchy and relevant to today’s audience’, and shown in 30 second episodes between all the adverts.

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Posted: Sep 21st, 2009
More from News In Brief



Britain’s largest industry now Jane Austen

Books, films and TV shows related to the writing of Jane Austen have now surpassed manufacturing, shipping and computers.

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Posted: Sep 9th, 2008
More from UK News