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Posts Tagged ‘Jeremy Clarkson’

Islamic State leader remains calm over sub-standard mayo sandwich

Although specifically asking for no mayonnaise on the sandwich he ordered yesterday evening following a long, stressful day, Islamic State leader Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi was disappointed to find that someone had not paid enough attention to his orders and completely drenched the whole thing in sauce.

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Posted: Mar 19th, 2015
More from News In Brief



Hot dinners fed up with repeated references to Clarkson

‘How many times have you heard people say ‘I’ve now read more articles about Top Gear than I’ve eaten hot dinners? ’ said a spokesdinner for hot dinners. ‘We are boiling with rage about references linking us to the presenter’s antics.’

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Posted: Mar 16th, 2015
More from News In Brief



First penis transplant: Clarkson moves to SKY

just dicking aboutSpurred on by abundant rumours that the curmudgeonly Top Gear presenter deliberately struck his co-employee to contrive a more lucrative TV contract elsewhere, SKY satellite engineers have vowed to work around the clock to detach Clarkson from his currently uncomfortable position and ‘re-assign’ the little fella. However, the surgical manoeuvre is complicated by the risk of damaging the attached scrotum, or James May as he is known.

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Posted: Mar 15th, 2015
More from Arts/Entertainment



Clarkson fans show support by punching each other, themselves

the most important story... in the world.The suspension of Jeremy Clarkson from from the BBC has been met with protests involving displays of self-flagellation and ‘appropriate, before the watershed’ violence by many of his 300 million supporters.

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Posted: Mar 11th, 2015
More from Celebrity



Google self-drive car will allow hands-free racism for Top Gear

To packed conference in California, Google co-founder, Sergey Brin revealed plans to manufacture a vehicle that will allow BBC presenters to focus less on steering and more on ‘pejorative terms for Asians’.

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Posted: May 28th, 2014
More from Science/Technology